Breaking the Habit
by Alaisabel
Summary: When Sirius runs away from home he goes to the cottage belonging to his late uncle. Here he nearly trips over a wounded boy who never got accepted to Hogwarts (Spoiler alert: That's Remus) They realise that even though they know nothing about each other's pasts they understand each other better than people who've known them for their entire lives Contains slash
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter you have a problem...

* * *

Sirius' mother looked at him with a raging hateful fire in her eyes, "Get out," she spat. Not in her usual hysterical manner, but almost calmly, like she really meant it. _Fine_.

Sirius slammed the door to his room behind him. He quickly found his trunk and started to shove the things he wanted to take with him in it. It was already half filled with school-stuff he hadn't bothered to unpack, but he added clothes and the food he always kept in his room to avoid having to eat with his family.

He'd been expecting this to happen ever since his cousin Andromeda had married Ted Tonks, a muggle-born. Sirius' mother had turned completely red when she got the news and then went to burn Andromeda, her own niece, off the family tapestry.

Sirius had to do it fast, before he had time to regret it.

The entire thing took him about five minutes. He closed the trunk and only stopped to turn in the door, looking back at his room, the perfect picture of how much of a misfit he was. The room was decorated with the Gryffindor-banners his parents hated so much, reminding them that their oldest son hadn't been sorted into Slytherin. Where his house colours weren't dominating there hang pictures of bikini-clad muggle girls; mainly to annoy his parents and motorcycles, muggle motorcycles, Sirius considered bringing those with him, but then remembered the permanent sticking charm that would probably take some time to remove. Sirius frowned and firmly shut the door behind him, not expecting to see the room ever again.

He noiselessly started to go downstairs, a skill he'd developed already as a child to avoid the wrath of his mother. About halfway down Sirius suddenly decided that he didn't cared about being soundless, he wanted to let them know that he was going and that he wasn't coming back. Even though he knew they wouldn't care he made sure to make as much noise as possible, taking care to step at all the creaking steps and slamming his trunk against things.

Sirius peeked into the kitchen, empty, as predicted. He grabbed into the jar on the mantelpiece filled with Floo powder, threw the powder into the flames and stepped into the fireplace.

"Threepenny cottage!"

Sirius had never really gotten used to the spinning sensation that accompanied travelling by Floo or the loud roaring, but at least it never felt as bad as the first time. Sirius remembered throwing up while he was _in_ the Floo, the mess had been terrible.

Sirius stumbled out of the fireplace and had to place a hand on the mantelpiece to keep himself from falling over until the room stopped spinning.

He was standing in his late uncle Alphard's study. The sun was shining through the dusty pentagonal window section in a lazy unnatural yellow manner that made the study look gloomy and filthy. Just below the windows stood a huge writing desk, covered in the parchment and books that was Alphard's latest work, a work that would probably never be finished.

Sirius had been Alphard's favourite nephew, which meant that Sirius had spent many hours in his uncle's cottage and in the forest that surrounded it as a child. His parents hadn't approved of the amount of time he'd spent with the slightly eccentric man, but they had never made their disapproval verbal. Alphard had, after all, been a member of the Black family, a proper member who'd been sorted into Slytherin, only Sirius knew just how close the sorting hat'd been to placing his uncle in Ravenclaw.

When Alphard the year prior had had an accident with fatal consequences involving some kind of experiment, he'd left Sirius the cottage and a fair bit of gold. Strictly speaking Sirius didn't have access to the gold yet and the cottage belonged to his parents until Sirius came at age, but the rest of the Black family had no intention of setting foot in the home of their disturbed relative leaving it free to Sirius' use.

Sirius left his trunk in the study before going to check the entire house out, he did, however not get farther than to the kitchen where he nearly tripped over a boy.

If the boy's back hadn't been heaving Sirius would've thought he was dead judging by the pool of blood he was lying in. The boy was around Sirius' age, possibly a bit younger. He was lying very still on his stomach with his head to one side. The boy was very pale and slightly grey in the face, making him look positively ill. He was wearing nothing but a pair of worn-out jeans that left his back exposed. Sirius' frown deepened as he saw that the boy's slender back was covered in scars and several places there were open gashes, the source of the blood.

Sirius just stared at the boy _What the actual fuck? _Couldn't he even get five minutes' of peace before people turned up dying? And how had the boy even gotten past the wards? Sirius'd have to worry about that later, right now he had to make sure he didn't end up with a dead body. He didn't want to take the boy to St. Mungo's, besides the boy probably wouldn't benefit from a trip through the Floo. Sirius'd have to do it himself.

Sirius considered just healing the wounds with a spell, but decided that he'd need something to clean it with first. He strode back to the study and over to the cupboard he knew contained potions and quickly located a purple liquid that smelled antiseptic.

When he returned the boy was laying in the same position that Sirius had left him in. Sirius wrinkled his nose as he dabbed the liquid on, wondering what had inflicted those wounds, it almost looked like something with fangs, possibly an animal, but there wasn't usually any predators in this part of the forest, not anything bigger than a fox anyway and if those wounds had been inflicted by a fox Sirius was a Squib.

When Sirius was satisfied with the cleaning of the wounds he pulled out his wand and muttered: "Vulnera Sanentur," it had very little effect "Vulnera Sanentur" Sirius repeated more urgently. The cuts immediately stopped bleeding and slowly started to heal, making Sirius almost sigh with relief. It was at times like this he was happy his uncle had been so paranoid that he'd placed spells around his property that made the place untraceable and thereby blocked the Trace that any other place would have earned Sirius a letter from the Ministry of Magic about the illegal use of underage magic.

Sirius went back to the study and opened his trunk to look for something suitable for bandages. Even though he'd used a spell he knew that alone couldn't do it, he'd spent enough time in the hospital wing to notice that. He extracted a white shirt that he decided would have to do as bandages. He ripped it in a couple of pieces before he took it back to the kitchen where he crouched beside the boy. He gently pulled the boy into a sitting position, resting his head against Sirius' collarbone. Sirius wrapped the clothing around the boy as bandages.

Sirius picked the boy up, one arm under his legs and the other one around his back, careful not to touch any of the wounds. The boy was surprisingly light and Sirius was effortlessly able to carry him through the kitchen and the library, into the bedroom. _Well, this doesn't look dodgy at all, _Sirius thought as he placed the boy on the unused bed.

_He's actually rather pretty_ Sirius pondered, as he stood bent over the bed. Not stunningly handsome as Sirius himself, _no point in denying it_, but in a more subdued manner that required you to look a little closer, with long, thick eyelashes and specks of chestnut and walnut brown in the hair that had at first looked ordinarily light brown.

xXxXx

_Soft_

_Warm_

_Nice_

_Pain_

_Danger_

_Where am I?_

Remus flung his eyes open and stared at a wooden ceiling. He'd never seen this place before. His heart sped up and he started to panic.

Remus slowly turned his head and stared into the stormy eyes of a complete stranger. Remus quickly got into a sitting position, ignoring the pain, and backed as far away as possible, ending in the corner furthest from the door.

"Who are you?" Remus trembled at the undisputable handsome boy.

"I might ask you the same question," the boy quirked an eyebrow, "But since you ask; I live here. I'm Sirius," a hand was reached towards him.

Remus eyed the hand suspiciously and said "Remus, I'm Remus," before reluctantly shaking Sirius' warm hand.

Sirius broke into a grin "You gave me quite a fright, Remus, bleeding all over my floor like that."

The events of the day before slowly returned and Remus cringed inwardly. It had been full moon. "Sorry, I'll leave now," Remus mumbled and tried to get up. He stood on shaking legs for less than a second before they gave in under him. He would have fallen flat on his face if it hadn't been for Sirius who reached out to steady him, ending with Remus awkwardly stumbling and ending tightly pressed against Sirius' chest.

Sirius looked almost mockingly down at him "Are you sure about that?" and then without awaiting an answer he firmly directed Remus back to the bed. "Calm down, if I wanted to murder you I'd have done so while you were unconscious."

"Do anyone else live here?" Remus grumpily asked as he pulled the covers around him.

"No, it belonged to my late uncle," Sirius didn't give any signs of wanting to explain further so Remus left it at that and didn't ask the obvious: _aren't you too young to be living alone?_ Deciding that if he himself didn't want to talk about his private life, he couldn't expect it of Sirius either.

"You did this?" Remus asked, referring to the bandages.

"Yeah, sorry if they're shit, I'm not used to putting people back together. I think you've lost a fair bit of blood, though. What happened? It was some pretty nasty wounds." Sirius' aristocratic features wrinkled into a concerned frown.

"Umm," Remus started, he considered: _That's a funny story actually, I'm a werewolf you see, and yesterday was full moon so I transformed. Then I scratched myself because there were no humans around for me to kill,_ but decided to settle for: "Nothing special." not really wanting to tell a stranger his pathetic life story of how he hadn't been accepted to a wizarding-school because he was a freak. He didn't even know whether Sirius was a wizard or a muggle, though Sirius sounded like a wizard-name.

It was very clear that Sirius didn't believe him, he wasn't dumber than the next person, but he didn't pursue the subject further. "I'll get you some food or water or something, don't move." Sirius turned to leave.

"Sirius," Remus called after him. Sirius turned around with a quizzical look on his face, "Thank you," Remus smiled. Sirius returned the smile, only broader, flashing his perfect teeth and a small sharp canine before leaving.

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A/N: That was the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it ^^ I love reviews :3

Concerning Alphard: I'm aware that it's not completely canon, but shush


	2. Chapter 2

_What the fuck are you doing? _Sirius thought as he stood in the kitchen, making tea for some guy he'd never set eyes on before that very morning. Some attractive, interesting, adorable guy, he corrected himself while pouring sugar in the tea. Remus seemed like someone who took sugar in his tea.

When Sirius returned to the bedroom Remus was lying in fetal position with his eyes closed and shaking all over. Sirius' entire body itched from the urge to do something about it, give Remus another blanket, hug him, anything that could stop that unbearable shaking. However, waking him up and getting him to drink tea would have to do, Sirius decided.

"Remus," Sirius softly said, liking the way the name felt in his mouth.

Remus immediately flinched and flung his eyes open. The pools of liquid amber connected with Sirius' and a soft smile curved Remus' lips.

"Sorry, fell asleep," Remus sheepishly yawned and sat up looking adorably dishevelled.

Sirius handed the cup of tea to Remus to cover his starring.

Remus blushed and wrapped his hands around the hot ceramic "Thank you."

"Don't do that," Sirius mortified blurted, "You'll get burned." He didn't know where this sudden protective behaviour came from, he'd never been so concerned for other people before, not even for himself, but there were something overwhelmingly vulnerable about Remus that awoke feelings in Sirius he hadn't even been aware of he was capable of feeling.

"No, I won't," Remus stated, "I've always hold cups like this, it's not that dangerous," he grinned and took another sip.

Sirius hesitantly sat down on the bed beside Remus, concluding that it'd be safe, since Remus apparently had decided that Sirius wasn't dangerous.

Remus merely scooted over and asked: "What's the time?"

"Ehhh," was Sirius bright response. He had no idea, it might be afternoon, but he didn't really know. If only he could use magic he could cast a Tempus charm, but as long as he didn't know if Remus was a wizard he couldn't really do that, he'd risk freaking him out.

He was fairly certain that Remus was a muggle, he had to be, since Sirius hadn't found any wand on him and Remus hadn't immediately asked for his wand when he woke up.

"Around 7 pm, I'd guess, I think you've been sleeping for about six hours or something," Sirius continued, fiddling with the wand in his pocket. The five hours Sirius could perhaps had used better, he'd mainly stared at Remus, walked around the cottage once to look for traces of what had happened, without any results, and he'd checked the wards, which were just as he'd left them.

Remus looked at him over the rim of the cup and conversationally said: "I'm not a muggle."

Sirius sat flabbergast for a few moments before taking the hint and pulling out his wand. "8 pm, I was close, though." Sirius bragged, earning a small laugh from Remus.

"If you're not a muggle, then where is your wand?" Sirius carefully asked.

"I never got accepted to a school," Remus calmly said and took another gulp of his tea like it didn't bother him at all. Sirius could hardly imagine anything more terrible, he could clearly remember the first time he'd walked through the huge doors and the warmth and light had greeted him. His first real home. Remus cut off his thought stream "I was wondering; do you have a shirt or something?"

Sirius suddenly became hyper-aware of the fact that he was sitting next to a half-naked boy. "Yeah, sure, one second," Sirius babbled and got up.

As Sirius browsed through the shirts he'd taken with him he wondered what'd fit Remus best. They were roughly the same size, Remus was a bit smaller, but it'd have to work. A dress shirt wouldn't do, not adorable enough. He'd look great in a jumper, but Sirius didn't own any of those. That was when his fingers grazed one of his most prized possessions. A black Doors T-Shirt. It had, as so much else in Sirius' life, started out as a crusade to annoy his parents, but he'd soon found out that he really liked The Doors. Sirius grabbed the shirt and grinned.

xXxXx

Remus finished his perfectly made tea while Sirius was away. How had he known that Remus took his tea with three spoonfuls of sugar? It was ridiculous, but Remus had a feeling that Sirius understood him better than people he'd known his entire life. It was a little alarming that this thought didn't disturb Remus.

He absently grazed his bruised ribs, cursing the transformations. He'd have to move on soon, he hadn't left his parents to be a danger to somebody else and certainly not to be a danger to someone like Sirius.

"I think this'll fit," Sirius entered the room saying and held up a black band-T-shirt, "I should have a look on your back first, though," he suggested.

"Yeah," Remus agreed, placing his cup on the table by the bedside and added "I'm really sorry to be to so much of a bother."

"You're not," Sirius earnestly said, "If I didn't want to do this you wouldn't still be here. Now, can you turn a bit?" Sirius put the shirt down on the bedside-table and sat behind Remus.

"I'm going to remove the bandages now," Sirius informed him and Remus felt gentle hands touching his torso. Ridiculously enough this made his breath speed up a little and made his palms go sweaty. _Get a grip on yourself, will you. _Remus firmly told himself just as Sirius accidentally grazed one of Remus' more sore spots making him wince.

"Sorry," Sirius apologised.

Remus felt a sudden chill on his chest when the bandages were removed completely and were replaced by warm hands touching his skin. He heard Sirius draw in a breath.

"Well, I don't know what you've been doing but you're quite blue-ish all over. On the bright side you're almost healed," Sirius surprised said lingeringly tracing one of Remus' ribs. _That's nice, that's really nice _Remus thought, nearly loosing himself in the sensation before realising that Sirius was probably expecting an answer.

"Oh, umm, I don't really have control over it yet, my magic," Remus admitted aware that Sirius had deemed him a Squib, "But it's like that's what I'm good at, healing." Remus couldn't resist the urge to press a little into the touch.

The hand moved from his rib to his back before they disappeared, "I don't think you'll need any new bandages," Sirius stated and rose to his feet.

Remus grabbed the shirt and pulled it on, it smelt of leather, suggesting that Sirius had a leather-jacket in his possession but foremost it smelt like Sirius, which was oddly comforting. It was a bit too loose, but Remus wasn't drowning in it.

He turned around and saw Sirius staring at him, "What?" did he really look so stupid in it?

xXxXx

Bad idea giving that shirt to Remus, really an exceptionally not-good decision. Sirius decided as Remus was looking quizzically at him with his ridiculously big eyes, his ridiculously cute blush and hair that looked like someone had just shacked him against a wall, combined with the fact that he was wearing Sirius' shirt, making it look like that someone was Sirius.

Sirius never lost control of himself like that, never. "Suits you," Sirius managed to grin, "I'm going to find something edible, stay there." and with that Sirius fled the room.

Sirius did "lust" he did "well, you only live once," he didn't do "I really don't want to screw this up". And yet, here he was, unable to make any kind of move on Remus because he was afraid it'd scare him away.

Sirius slammed the cupboard open to look for something edible. Right now he was genuinely sorry he'd never cared to learn to cook. On the other hand there wasn't many edible things in the kitchen due to the fact that it had been a year since his Uncle Alphard had passed away.

Sirius peeked inside the cupboard. Cans, what the hell was the purpose of cans? Sirius took one from the shelve. _Baked beans. _How on earth was he going to get the can opened? Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at the can "Diffindo" he muttered.

A loud _crack _sounded and suddenly Sirius was completely covered in tomato. He flabbergastly looked at the can and then down his now ruined clothes. _Well, that was impressive_ Sirius sarcastically thought realising that perhaps opening cans wasn't among his talents.

That was when Sirius heard the wooden floor creak. Even before he turned around he knew that Remus would be standing there, he sighed and reluctantly turned to get it over with.

Remus was leaning slightly against the doorframe and was wearing a small frown "What are you doing, Siri-" he began but got cut off by a hysterical giggle as Sirius turned around completely.

"It's not funny," Sirius stonily said.

"Yes… it is," Remus laughed, "I can't-" he was clutching his ribcage and bending slightly over still gripping the frame of the door.

Sirius rolled his eyes "All right, maybe it's a _bit_ funny. Stop laughing."

Remus clasped a hand across his mouth "Sorry," he giggled. Suddenly he stopped giggling "Sirius, what is _that_?" Remus indicated a rather large pool of dried blood on the floor.

"Ehhh, that's where I found you," Sirius admitted, slowly putting the can on the kitchen table. Realising that perhaps it hadn't been the best decision in his entire life to leave the pool alone.

"And you didn't consider cleaning it up," Remus inquired slightly grey in the face. _Stop, looking so distressed_. Sirius thought.

"I'm not that good with cleaning spells," Sirius admitted. He'd never in his life needed to do any kind of housework. It was below his dignity.

"Aha," Remus looked unimpressed at him.

"Don't give me that look. Why are you even up?" Sirius concernedly eyed Remus' grip on the doorframe.

"Well, I _did_ hear a loud bang. I had to check if you'd blown yourself up or something," Remus calmly replied.

"It'd not _my _fault. I didn't do anything. Why do they even can food?" Sirius ranted.

"So it'll stay fresh," Remus was limping towards him "I take it you didn't use a can-opener?"

_Are you kidding me? _Sirius just stared at Remus "What?"

"A device to open cans," Remus snickered behind a badly hidden grin.

"You don't say," Sirius mumbled as Remus leaned against the counter.

"Can I open the drawers?" Remus asked.

"Of course," Sirius baffled replied. What kind of question was that even? It was just a kitchen.

Remus noiselessly started opening drawers.

"How come you know so much about muggles?" Sirius asked.

"Huh," Remus absently replied as he browsed through a drawer filled with cutlery, "Half-blood. Ouch!"

Couldn't he go five minutes without hurting himself? "Are you alright?" Sirius concerned asked.

"Fine," Remus mumbled as he sucked on his index finger, "Found it," He triumphantly held up a flat piece of metal with a sharp blade attached, probably the thing he'd cut himself on. "Why did your uncle have cans and can-openers anyway?"

"Stop licking your finger," Sirius exclaimed, it was pretty distracting to be honest, "I'll fix it for you," Remus obediently held his hand out, "My uncle was kind of a scientist, he always had to study things and learn about new things. It didn't matter to him whether it was wizard stuff or muggle things," Sirius fondly said "Of course our entire family thought he was bonkers. He probably was, now that I think about it. Episkey. There you go."

"Thanks," Remus studied his healed finger interestedly and shifted the angle of his hand a couple of times, then he smiled his small crooked smile "If you find a new can I'll open it."

Sirius quickly retrieved another can, "Only if you promise not to cut yourself." He mockingly serious looked into Remus' eyes and held the can away from him.

Remus rolled his eyes and reached for the can, almost ending up pressed against Sirius in doing so, "Yes, yes, alright, I promise."

Sirius grinned and handed the can to Remus. He caught himself just as he was reaching out to ruffle Remus' hair. Remus probably wouldn't approve of getting tomato in the hair. Then Remus would need to take a bath and he couldn't even stand on his own without leaning heavily against the counter in a discreet fashion that he obviously didn't want Sirius to notice. Which meant that if Remus had to take a bath without drowning Sirius would have to help him. Sirius instantly went completely dry in the mouth and decided that line of thought perhaps wasn't the best idea he'd gotten all day.

Sirius was thankful for the sound of metal grinding together as he was wrenched from his inappropriate daydream.

"There," Remus proudly said as if it was something great to be able to open a can.

"I'll just change," Sirius replied, not wanting to spend more time than necessary looking like an idiot with tomato all over his clothes.

xXxXx

Remus thoughtfully looked after Sirius as he went, how was it even possible to still look attractive covered in tomato? It was like Sirius had some kind of casual elegance that other mortals could only dream of having, it was quite unfair, actually.

Remus sighed and leaned heavily on the counter, it had taken more energy than he'd like to admit to keep from making it too obvious that he was still feeling very faint, he usually felt bad after a transformation, but this was just pitiful.

He'd have to move on, he returned to his earlier thoughts, he hadn't left his parents to be a danger to someone else. The only problem was that he really didn't want to. Sirius was perhaps _the _most interesting and kind person he'd ever met and he didn't want to let that go so easily. Now he was just being selfish, he couldn't endanger anyone like that. Sirius hadn't known what he got involved in when he'd taken care of Remus and putting him in danger wasn't a good way of thanking him. He'd have to get out first thing in the morning.

Remus quickly straightened up when he heard the sound of footsteps. Sirius had changed from a white dress shirt into a tight red T-shirt that showed off his athletic body. Remus made a mental note _Quidditch player, probably Gryffindor._ No, he'd have to stop; he couldn't spend any more time with Sirius so he didn't have any need for filing information about him.

Remus inhaled "I'll be leaving first thing in the morning, thank you for taking care of me, but I have to move on."

Sirius stopped dead "Why?" he earnestly asked, his stormy eyes fixated on Remus.

"As, I said, ermm, I have to move on, things to do, p-people to see," Remus stammered as Sirius approached in a nearly predatory manner.

"Really?" Sirius almost purred, taking a last step towards Remus. He was standing directly in front of him.

"Yeah," Remus' mouth had gone entirely dry the second Sirius pressed a hand against his chest. He really needed his kitchen counter now.

"You know," Sirius breathed into his ear, "I can learn you how to use your magic." Remus swallowed.

"Really?" he whispered. Magic, that one thing he'd wanted for his entire life. Yearning for it as he'd read all the theory about it, all the history, everything he could get near, just not the real thing. Never really touching. That, and getting to spend more time with Sirius.

Sirius pulled back slightly and made eye contact, "Yes."

Remus bit his lip, he was so going to regret this "Okay."

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**A/N: **Okay, I forgot to mention this last time, but I'll try to upload every 5th day (4th if I feel like it). Reviews make me ever so happy and when I'm happy I'm more inclined to upload faster ^^ (that's not a threat, you'll get your chapters anyway, promise)

So yeah, hope you enjoyed and thanks to the people who've reviewed and/or followed this story ^^

In other news: I'm strongly considering writing my first sex-scene in this fic and it would be super awesome if you'd leave a review telling me whether you want such a scene or not (considering this fic is T-rated and people have already started reading it... If I decide to make a sex-scene I promise to do it separately and so on so you can skip it if you'd like ^^) So... please tell me ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I made a learn/ teach-mistake in the last chapter which two of my lovely readers were kind enough to point out. Sorry about that (that's why the dialogue is a tiny bit different here)

* * *

Sirius had just changed his shirt when what he'd feared would happen, happened: "I'll be leaving first thing in the morning, thank you for taking care of me, but I have to move on."

_Why? _"Why?" Sirius asked. What had he done? Sirius played the conversation they'd had before he went to change in his head. Nothing that could've made Remus bolt. Sirius realised that if he wanted to keep Remus he'd have to act now. Sirius might've been sorted into Gryffindor, but he was still a Black, and Blacks didn't give up on things that easily.

Sirius slowly approached Remus who started babbling "As, I said, emm, I have to move on, things to do, p-people to see." That was a good sign, it meant that Remus could be convinced to change his mind. And Sirius could be very convincing when he wanted to.

"Really?" Sirius tried to ignore how ridiculous the purring edge sounded as he stepped into Remus' personal space and placed a hand at his chest.

"Yeah," Remus faintly said and was clearly leaning against the counter in an attempt of getting as far away from Sirius as possible, but at least he wasn't fighting him off even though Sirius could feel Remus' heartbeat speeding up in alarm.

Sirius lowered his lips to Remus' ear and said the thing he was positive Remus desired the most, "You know, I can teach you how to use your magic," if Sirius hadn't been so terrified that Remus was going to leave he would have found this very enjoyable.

This obtained the desired effect "Really?" Remus was certainly interested and Sirius judged that it'd be better to back off before he scared the boy away. He pulled a bit back and stared into Remus' eyes where the pupils were dilated. Sirius would like to believe that was a sign of attraction, but he knew it was more likely from Remus' inner discussion.

"Yes," Sirius firmly said and he had to hold in a triumphant whoop when Remus bit his lip and replied with "Okay."

There was a short moment where Sirius just stared at Remus' mouth coming way too near the line and had to firmly tell himself that Remus was staying because of the prospect of learning magic, nothing else. Sirius quickly stepped back before he could do anything he'd regret.

Remus relaxed visibly when Sirius was no longer in his space, showing that it'd been the right decision to back off.

"W-what about the-" Remus faintly stammered before clearing his throat "What about the Trace?"

"My dear uncle made his property untraceable, besides I'm not completely sure whether you have a Trace on you," Sirius instantly regretted this remark concerning Remus not being accepted to a school "Can you eat this stuff cold?" he asked instead, indicating their dinner.

"Yeah, you can, though I prefer it cooked to be honest," Remus wrinkled his nose a little.

"Then we'll cook it," Sirius picked up the can, not really knowing what to do with it. Should he find a kettle or something?

"You really don't have a clue, do you?" Remus snickered. If it had been anyone else Sirius would have been livid, but somehow it was all right when it was Remus. Sirius shamefully handed the can over to Remus who took a pot from the wall, "Didn't he have a stove? Can you light a fire or something?" Remus requested.

_Finally something I _can_ do_ Sirius thought as he rushed over to the fireplace. He waved his wand at the fireplace and looked smugly as it burst into flames, trying, and failing miserably, not to gaze at Remus to see if he looked impressed. Remus merely rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded like "Show-off," as he emptied the can into a pot.

Remus handed the pot and a wooden spoon to Sirius, "Give me five minutes," Remus announced and lay down on the floor with a deep sigh.

"Are you okay?" Sirius concerned asked. Remus had apparently worn himself out by standing too much. Sirius generally didn't snoop, but he was genuinely worried about Remus and considered once more asking what had happened. Especially since Remus apparently had ran away from home, too. Sirius couldn't know for sure, but Remus hadn't once mentioned his parents, not even a "My parents will be worried though" and when he talked about leaving he hadn't played the _parents _card.

"'m fine, just tired," Remus absently replied "Can you heat it?"

"Sure," Sirius answered sounding way more confident than he really was. Why had he never wondered why Alphard hadn't had a stove in his possession? Then he suddenly remembered how Alphard didn't prioritize food and probably hadn't deemed a stove important.

Sirius looked from the fireplace to the pot. How was he going to do this? Sirius decided that a levitation charm would do the job.

Remus lay with his eyes closed "Remus, if you're going to sleep; go to bed, I'll do this and bring it to you," Sirius hated the "worried mother" edge to his voice and wondered, for the something-th time that day, what the hell was wrong with him.

Remus snorted "I don't fancy waking up to a burning house, mate."

"Have a little faith in me, will you?" Sirius quickly stirred the beans, just to make sure he didn't screw this up.

"Do you have a bathroom?" Remus asked.

"No, we shit in the woods. Of course we have bathroom." Sirius wasn't completely sure why he said _we._ If he meant Alphard and himself, Remus and himself or just didn't like the sound of _I_ because it sounded so lonely.

"Ha, ha," Remus deadpanned replied.

"It's the door over there," Sirius smiled, indicating the door. He considered adding _Do you need help?_ but very quickly decided against it.

That was when the food started bubbling. _Was it supposed to do that? _Sirius tried to think back, potions certainly was boiling when they started to bubble. It had to be remotely like potions. The question, however, was for how long it was supposed to boil. Sirius hoped Remus would return quickly and stirred a little faster.

Sirius heard a bit of clattering and realised Remus had returned. Sirius didn't even bother to consider how anyone could be so noiseless, when they weren't taking bowls from the cupboard, that was.

"I think it's done," Remus remarked and handed Sirius a bowl.

As Sirius poured a bit more than half the food in Remus' bowl, Remus said "I had a bag, I think I'll go looking for it tomorrow."

Sirius and Remus switched bowls so Sirius could put food in the other as well "I'll go with you." Sirius immediately said. He strongly expected Remus to argue, but was met with a resignedly sigh instead.

"Then you won't have to wear my clothes anymore," Sirius remarked, reminding himself that that was a good thing as he picked up a spoon and poked into his food.

Remus chewed and gave a little laugh "Muggle bands, though?"

"Why not?" Sirius defensively said and took a spoonful of baked beans, _could taste worse_ he decided.

"Don't know," Remus shrugged and started "It's just, pure-blood wizards usually… No sorry."

"It's okay," Sirius reassured him, "What's your favourite band, then?" it should have been an attempt of changing subject, but in reality he just wanted to know.

"Beatles, I think," Remus replied.

"I don't know them," Sirius had to admit.

Remus nearly choked "What?"

"I don't know them," Sirius repeated.

"How can you know muggle bands and not know The Beatles?" Remus looked shell-shocked.

"I just don't," Sirius had a feeling he was missing something, "Why?"

Remus made a sound that sounded like a mix between a hysterical laugh and pain "They are… let's say rather popular. Well, they've split up, but they're still popular, like The Doors."

"I might know the music," Sirius tried, "It might be just their name I don't know. Can't you like, sing one of their songs or something?"

Remus stopped laughing and just stared at Sirius "No."

"Aw, come on," Sirius urged.

"Absolutely not. I don't sing. I can't sing. No," Remus declared, "I don't even know you."

"I think you must have misheard me, I said _sing _not _have sex with me,_" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Just… no." Remus blushed, but sounded quite final.

"All right, all right, message received and understood," Sirius said, but mentally added it to the list of things he'd like to get Remus to do, a list that was quite long considering he'd known the guy for less than 12 hours.

"What do we do with the dishes?" Remus considerately asked.

"Eh, leave them in the sink?" Sirius suggested earning a glare filled with disapproval from Remus, "We'll fix it tomorrow. We've both had a rough day." Remus yawned widely and then nodded, placing the dishes next to the sink.

Remus started to shuffle towards the door to the library, which led to the bedroom, suddenly he stopped "What do we do with, um, sleeping?" He almost embarrassed asked. Sirius had to replay it twice in his mind before getting it. There was only one bed.

"I can spell a chair into a sofa or something where I can sleep," Sirius suggested, "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, I don't want to be to inconvenience, I can sleep on whatever you transfigure," Remus quickly offered.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're the guest, besides you're the one that's hurt," Sirius brushed his objections aside.

"I can't take your bed," Remus insisted.

"Merlin, if you're so stubborn about it we'll just share the bed," Sirius said, hoping to shock Remus enough to make him agree to letting Sirius take whatever he made.

Remus shrugged "Sounds fine."

That, Sirius hadn't been expecting and had he been drinking anything he'd probably had spit it out all over the place. So Remus would rather share a bed with a stranger than be an inconvenience, fair enough, Sirius inwardly grinned, not really sorry about the situation.

Remus staggered into the bedroom closely followed by Sirius who decided to go for an early night as well, he hadn't been sleeping well lately.

Sirius occupied himself with getting another blanket in the closet near the door while Remus shredded his torn jeans. His mission with not peeking failed as he discreetly eyed Remus', very nice, legs before the other boy wrapped himself in a blanket.

Sirius took off his own trousers right before he lay down beside Remus on the bed. He could have spelled the bed larger, but right now he could feel that he'd actually rather be very near Remus, Sirius would never admit it, but the episode with his parents had left an empty hole in him, a cold empty hole that could only be filled with warmth and human contact. Sirius waved his wand and muttered "Nox."

"G'night," Remus murmured before turning towards the wall and away from Sirius, accidentally brushing him lightly as he did, sending shivers down Sirius' spine.

"Good night," Sirius smiled and turned away from Remus in an attempt to ignore the presence of the other boy, something that was necessary if he wanted to sleep. The fact that their backs were touching didn't help, at all. It was going to be a long night.

Somehow Sirius managed to fall asleep and when he awoke in the middle of the night it was with a sleeping Remus snuggled into his chest like a warm, soft ball of drowsiness. Sirius should immediately have retreated, but the sensation was oddly comforting and instead he wrapped his arm tighter around Remus in an attempt to protect the other boy from all he'd been through, all he didn't even want to talk about and to comfort them both.

* * *

**A/N:** (Yes, I like A/N's) I'm not quite sure why I'm uploading now... I just felt like it I guess... Don't question me o.o I think all this fluff is affecting my brain...

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'll be very happy if you'd leave a review so I can know what I do well and what I should improve ^^


	4. Chapter 4

Remus woke up as the sunlight started to seep into the room. He was nicely warm and relaxed, feeling incredibly safe. That was when he realised he was snuggled against someone. Sirius. Remus was pressed against Sirius' chest where he could feel a deep even breath and Sirius had an arm wrapped tightly around him. Their bare legs were tangled together and they shared a single blanket.

Agreeing to share a bed had been a ridiculously terrible idea. He could just have said no, Sirius had certainly meant it as a joke, but Remus really hadn't wanted to be an even bigger bother than he already was. Remus had always know he was a cuddler, he'd always woke up to find that he was hugging either a stuffed animal, his blanket or even his pillow. He'd definitely known, so what had made him think his natural cuddler instinct wouldn't kick into action now? He had no idea, he realised as Sirius' scent filled his nostrils and it felt like his body was on fire in the places his and Sirius' bare skin touched. The real surprise, however, was that apparently Sirius was a cuddler too, judging by the tight embrace.

He slowly opened his eyes. He had to get out of the bed before Sirius awoke, because that'd be beyond awkward. Remus carefully managed to untangle their legs and slowly started to pull his right hand away from Sirius' where their fingers were loosely laced together. Remus slowly inched backwards, but soon hit the wall behind him. Sirius' arm tightened around him and Remus realised he was trapped.

Remus considered just staying put, but immediately dumped that idea. That would be really great when Sirius woke up and started yelling of him or something like that, not that he could imagine Sirius yelling to be honest, but the thought alone that Sirius wouldn't be even remotely pleased made Remus press his back firmly against the wall and carefully slide towards the foot end of the bed, making himself brush against Sirius' entire body as he went, until he ended up sitting on the floor.

Remus slowly rose to his feet astonished of how elegant that had actually been, usually Remus didn't do "elegant". He picked up his ruined jeans, perhaps he could get Sirius to fix them for him later, and headed towards the bathroom, intending to take a much needed bath. He did however not get any farther than the library he'd passed a couple of times already.

At the sight of the old books he immediately dropped the jeans in his hands and slowly reached out his hands, caressing the spines of the old battered books. He inhaled the smell of old books and carefully took one from the shelf. It was fairly new compared to the other books in the room, ten years at the most, but with an old-looking brown cover, which in golden letters said _Approaching healing historically. _To most people it would probably look like the dullest book in existence, but not to Remus. He immediately sat down in the middle of the room, not caring that his entire body was aching, he probably was smelling like a dead animal, his hair was looking like said animal as well and he was getting goosebumps all over, because "summer" in England wasn't exactly summer and Remus was very receptive to cold.

That was how Sirius found him more than an hour later.

Remus violently flinched and nearly dropped the book when Sirius' voice suddenly sounded "What are you doing?"

Remus looked up and saw Sirius leaning against the doorframe with a quirked eyebrow. "Um, reading," Remus replied, suddenly realising that it probably wasn't considered polite behaviour to just grab a book and start reading without permission, "Sorry," Remus muttered and started to get up from the floor.

"Why?" Sirius inquired and crouched down beside Remus on the floor, "What are you reading?"

"Nothing special," Remus shrugged "Just a book about healing through the centuries."

"There has to be something special about it if you want to read it," Sirius pointed out and looked expectantly at Remus.

Remus' cheeks were burning "It's really stupid," he bit his lip.

"Ooh, now it's getting interesting," Sirius grinned, sounding sincerely interested as he sat completely down beside Remus.

Remus sighed "When I was younger I wanted to be a Healer, but, yeah, that was before I turned 11, it was stupid even before that," Remus rubbed his neck "Of course I have realised that becoming a Healer isn't going to happen and that I'll have to settle with Doctor, but somehow…" Remus stopped and shook his head, smiling a tiny smile "Told you it was ridiculous."

Sirius placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, forcing him to look into his eyes where an intense fire had started burning "It's not." then he dropped his hand and smiled, the serious look on his face gone just as fast as it'd come "Why aren't you wearing any trousers?"

Remus violently blushed and mumbled "I was on my way to take a bath, but then I kind of didn't get past the library," Sirius started laughing "Hey, you're not wearing any trousers either," Remus pointed out.

"Touché," Sirius grinned, "Do you want to take the first bath or will you rather continue reading half-naked on the floor?"

Remus' face turned, if possible, even redder. He quickly got up and put the book back on the shelf before picking up his jeans and heading for the bathroom.

Remus shut the bathroom door behind him and went to turn on the water to fill the bathtub. For half a second Remus wondered how they even had water in the middle of the forest but decided that he didn't want to bother with it and just accepted it as _magic_. Remus pulled the shirt over his head and carefully put the clothing he'd borrowed from Sirius down on a small wooden chest.

He stripped completely, turned off the tabs and sunk down in the water that was a bit too warm for comfort. Remus gave a content sigh and allowed the water to wash away the events of the transformation night and the day before where he'd run away from home.

Technically his parents hadn't known that he'd run away from the start. Usually his father accompanied him to an abandoned place where he could transform but seeing that his father had been buried in work this time and was too busy Remus had suggested he could just go alone. His mother had been very reluctant to begin with, but his father always had the last word. As soon as his parents had agreed that he could do it by himself this time Remus had made his mind up. He wasn't coming back, they'd be far better off without him.

Remus slowly realised that there were tears streaming down his face. _It's for the best. _he firmly told himself, but that wasn't what stopped his pathetic crying. What stopped him was the thought of Sirius. The thought of not having to be alone but instead being with someone who understood him.

He really should make up some lie about what had happened before Sirius had found him but Remus was tired of lying, he had always been lying. Telling his parents that he was fine, telling the teachers that he'd been ill, telling his classmates that he'd been ill, telling his friends that his mother didn't like visitors to hide the fact that he came from a wizard home. Not that Remus had ever had any very close friends, he mostly kept to himself because he wanted to avoid being a burden, besides no one really liked him.

He really had to stop whining. Remus found a piece of soap and quickly finished his bath deciding that he'd already spent too much time in there.

Remus got out of the bathtub careful not to slip. When Remus had been younger he'd slipped in the bathroom and ended up in the hospital only dressed in a bathing robe, he still had a small scar in the back of the head to remind him.

That was when he realised that there were no towels. _And that's why you always check that kind of thing _before. _Just like toilet paper. _Remus mentally smacked himself. This was just great.

Remus walked to the door, water dripping from his hair and body. He slowly opened the door ajar, "Sirius?" He hesitantly called, when there was no answer he repeated it a little louder.

"What?" Sirius appeared just outside the door where he stopped with an odd expression on his face, making Remus very aware of the fact that he was completely naked only with a, a bit too open, door covering him.

"You wouldn't happen to have a towel, would you?" Remus discreetly tried to push the door a bit more closed to cover the scars marring his torso.

Sirius looked like he was ready to faint, then, with visible effort, he quaked "What? Oh, towel, sure, two seconds," and darted off.

xXxXx

Sirius stared blankly at the closet in the bedroom.

_Remus stood with water streaming from his dark-brown hair across his flushed face and across his naked torso until the water droplets disappeared behind the door that was the only thing separating Sirius from a wet, naked Remus._

_Fuck._ Sirius banged his clenched fist into the closet door, this really wasn't helping, at all. Sirius inhaled deeply and slowly let his breath out again, Remus was waiting for him to get that towel.

_Remus was curled up and snuggled against Sirius' chest, sound asleep with a peaceful expression on his face. He made a sleepy sound and snuggled closer to Sirius before he with a soft smile laced their fingers together. _

_Will you stop that?_ Sirius considered hitting himself, lust he could handle, but this... Sirius furiously shook his head and forcefully yanked out a towel, making the entire pile fall to the floor. He swore loudly and haphazardly threw the rest of the towels back inside apart from an extra one for himself.

When he handed the towel to Remus he tried not to stare, really, he did, but his brain was working against him and somehow he ended up staring a lot more than intended, by accident of course.

When Sirius had finished bathing, something that surprisingly enough hadn't turned into thinking about Remus while doing things Remus would approve very little of, Sirius returned to the bedroom.

Remus was on his knees with his back turned to Sirius who stopped in the door, absolutely silent.

"… but please, please don't let my selfishness harm anyone else. Amen." Remus slowly stood up and turned. The moment he saw Sirius he clasped a hand over his mouth and stepped a bit back with _Shit_ written all over his face.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked. Amen, he was positive he'd heard that before.

Remus looked terribly distressed and almost whispered "Praying."

"Why?" Sirius inquired as it slowly dawned to him that Remus was religious. He did, however, not have any idea why Remus looked so bloody embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Um, to be in closer contact with God, and such," Remus hesitantly replied.

"I didn't hear anything if that's what you're afraid of," Sirius assured him. There were some religious people in the wizarding-community, but largely wizards weren't religious, superstitious: yes, religious: no. Those who were, were typically muggle-born or half-blood so, being pureblood, Sirius only had a pretty vague idea about religion.

Remus seemed to relax a bit, but still looked very uncomfortable "No, it's not really that, I just didn't want you to know that I'm a Christian." Sirius looked expectantly at him and as wished Remus started to explain "It's a bit like you don't scream from the rooftops that you're pureblood. There are too many prejudices," Remus shrugged.

"I really don't care," Sirius smiled, "You could be a werewolf for all I care," this didn't exactly earn Sirius the wanted reaction, Remus turned positively green. Sirius started to panic and then he turned to a last resort, something he generally didn't do: Hugs.

Sirius stepped forward and enveloped Remus in a hug "Don't worry about it." seemed to be the right thing to say because it made Remus relax, even though he didn't return the hug.

Sirius quickly let go of a blushing Remus "I think I'll find some breakfast, you coming?" Sirius headed for the study without waiting for a reply but heard Remus shuffle along behind him.

Sirius started looking for the bread he knew he'd brought with him. He really should move the trunk from the study but he couldn't be bothered, besides, this worked fine.

"Catch," Sirius called out and threw the bread to Remus without looking, with a tud the bread hit the floor. Sirius turned around "Nice catch."

"I wasn't prepared for being attacked with bread," Remus defended himself while picking up the bread.

"Excuses, excuses," Sirius drawled, suppressing a grin.

Remus loudly sighed, "You're impossible."

"Impossibly good looking, yes," Sirius smirked earning another resignedly sigh and a smack on the head with the bread, "Ow! How is it you're treating the food?" Sirius mocked.

"Just come on. Do you have a knife? Never mind, found it." Sirius closed his trunk and followed Remus to the kitchen. Sirius stopped in the door and observed Remus slicing the bread. He seemed completely relaxed and at home Making Sirius feel a mighty need to step up behind Remus, wrap his arms around the smaller boy and nuzzle his neck. _Stop, _right_ there, you're two around 16 year old guys who don't really know each other, not some kind of 60 years old married couple._ Sirius had no idea why he was such a sap today. _More like mentally disturbed_. Sirius corrected himself.

He needed some air. "I'll be back in one second," Sirius headed for the door and just saw Remus' quizzical expression before stepping outside.

Sirius drew in the fresh morning air. The entire forest smelt of summer. Sirius liked the city very much, but it often made him feel sort of trapped, he'd rather be in the woods where he felt free. He reached his hands towards the blue sky before doing what he had intended to do.

Sirius walked over to the nearest bush and plucked off a leaf that was suitable for working as a feather.

He returned to the kitchen where Remus was setting the table.

Remus looked up "We don't really have anything to put on it so…" he indicated a plate with bread.

"It's fine," Sirius beamed making Remus' face turn a bright pink colour. _Why is he always blushing? _Sirius couldn't help but wonder. It was distractingly adorable.

Just as Remus sat down Sirius remembered the leaf "I said I'd teach you magic," he passed the leaf to Remus who quirked an eyebrow at him. Then Sirius pulled out his wand and held it out to Remus. 11.5 inches of Holly with a core of Unicorn hair.

Remus' eyes widened "Are you sure about that?" he gasped.

"Well, it's the only wand around here, at least the only one suitable for that," Sirius smirked.

Remus rolled his eyes and mumbled "Very mature." but took the wand never the less, Sirius tried not to think about the fact that he had just handed his wand over without hesitating "Can I even use it properly? I mean – " Remus started while setting the leaf on the table.

"We'll se, wont we," Sirius grinned. He was aware of the whole _The wand chooses the wizard_-thing but somehow he felt this was going to work, "Do you know the levitation charm?"

Remus stopped staring at the wand and nodded. He inhaled sharply and nervously stammered "Wingardium Leviosa," while pointing the wand at the leaf and making the necessary _swish and flick._ Nothing happened "I can't do it," Remus trembled.

"Like hell you can't. What was that? You have to believe in it," Sirius restrained from rolling his eyes, he had a vague idea that Remus wouldn't appreciate it.

Remus repeated the movement and the spell with a little more confidence. The leaf moved.

"See?" Sirius stepped behind Remus, earning a quizzical look. "You have to make the swish a bit softer," Sirius stepped closer to Remus and wrapped his hand around Remus' shaking one, the thought that perhaps it'd be more practical just to show it himself, off. Remus immediately tensed up. "Relax," Sirius smiled and told himself the same thing. Sirius gently moved their hands in the motion required. "Like that," Sirius reluctantly stepped back.

Remus slowly inhaled and firmly spoke "Wingardium Leviosa." when the leaf started hovering Remus let out a surprised gasp, the break of concentration made the leaf fall to the table again, but Sirius couldn't care less about the leaf because in that moment Remus smiling turned to face him. "I think it works." Remus beamed.

"Of course it works," Sirius smirked as he accepted his wand back and sat down on the chair opposite of Remus. He picked a piece of bread an bit into it, "So, that bag of yours, any idea where you lost it?" Sirius inquired after swallowing.

"Not really," Remus was carefully separating the crust from the bread itself "North, I should think." Remus put the white bread in his mouth thereby causing Sirius to stare and effectively cutting off a snide remark before Sirius had even verbalised it.

"Then we'll go north." Sirius agreed.

Remus snickered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Remus grinned, "You just sound like one of those dramatic adventure films."

"I am not completely sure what you're talking about, so I'll just smile and nod." Sirius joked and did as he said he would.

"Prat."

"Speak for yourself," Sirius threw his piece of half bread at Remus.

"Did you just throw food at me?" Remus gasped.

"Yeah, I believe I did." this earned Sirius his piece of bread thrown back at him, "Weren't you supposed to be the mature one?"

"I'm still more mature than you," Remus smirked, "Doesn't take much."

"Hey!"

* * *

**A/N:** All right maybe not the most serious chapter I've even written... yup, the fluff possessed me, hope you don't mind ^^

As always my purpose is to entertain you guys so I'd be happy to know if my mission succeeded.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I think you'll get more out of this chapter if you listen to "Touch me" by The Doors before (it's not necessary it's just a recommendation if you don't know the song ^^)

* * *

The second Remus stepped out of the cottage he started to doubt what he'd told Sirius about north. He'd told Sirius that he wasn't sure anymore, but Sirius had just shrugged and replied "We might as well start out by heading that way."

However, as they got farther away from the cottage it became clear that they were on the right track, in the beginning it was only obvious to Remus, little signs, like broken branches or a distinctive smell. Remus really hoped it wouldn't get worse, that would be fantastic to try to explain to Sirius.

"Remus?" Somehow Remus got the feeling that wasn't the first time Sirius had called his name.

"Sorry, what?"

"I just asked you if this is the right way," Sirius seemed extremely relaxed.

"Oh, yeah, I think so," Remus nervously smiled and hoped Sirius wouldn't notice the blood on the leaves.

"What do you even keep in that bag to make it so damn important?"

"Well, what do you keep in _your_ trunk," Remus replied.

"You've _seen_ what I keep in my trunk," Sirius reminded him then he drew a sharp breath. Right in front of them lay a torn shirt smeared with blood, next to it was Remus' bag,_ Great, really bloody fantastic._

"Is that your bag?" Sirius inquired.

"Um… yes," Remus gulped and quickly picked up the bag.

Sirius searched Remus' face with an odd look "Okay, let's go."

_What?_ Remus gaped at Sirius who just quirked a brow and started to walk. Remus stumbled after him, puzzled but relieved that Sirius didn't insist on pursuing the subject.

When Remus caught up with Sirius the taller boy eyed his torso with something near concern "Let me carry that," Sirius said, more an order than a request.

Remus considered refusing, but concluded that if he didn't want to answer any questions he'd better do as Sirius said. "Be careful," Remus begged as he handed the bag over.

"Wow, seriously what do you have in this bag, an entire library?" Sirius exclaimed before slipping one strap of the backpack over his shoulder.

"A portable turntable, LPs and a couple of books," Remus admitted, "Oh, and of course clothes and food." His father had cast an undetectable extending charm on it as a birthday present last year.

"When you say food…" Sirius started.

"Mostly cans."

Sirius let out a small groan, "Do I look like a can-person?"

"Stop being such a spoiled prat, it's better than starving. You're just mad because you're unable to use a can-opener."

This comment earned Remus a deadpanned look, "Be nice to the house-hold troubled," Sirius dramatically exclaimed.

"Get a grip," Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius swiftly took Remus' hand, "It's an expression," Remus exclaimed.

Sirius smirked "I know," but didn't let go of Remus' hand. Remus couldn't really see the logic in it, not that he was complaining, though, it was quite nice holding Sirius' warm hand.

"I have an idea," Sirius suddenly said, grinning at Remus "You can teach me about muggle music." Remus quirked an eyebrow at him "You have music with you. I teach you magic, you teach me about your music. It's very fair, something for something, then I'm not just teaching you because you're cute."

Remus felt a warm blush creeping up from his neck, _Cute_. "Seems fair. It's mainly Beatles, though," he shrugged and really hoped Sirius didn't notice the red colour he seemed to turn every other second when he was with the stormy-eyed boy. Not that the probability for Sirius not noticing was very high seeing that Sirius actually had a well functioning eyesight.

"Then it's a deal," Sirius beamed and squeezed Remus' hand lightly. "I have my wand in the pocket, if you want to practise you can just take it."

Remus hesitated for a second, it seemed a bit odd to just stick your hand in people's pockets "Left or right?" Choosing the wish to improve his use of magic over the awkwardness.

"Right."

xXxXx

"Wow, do you have everything they've ever made?" Sirius marvelled as he sat with 11 LP's in front of him at the floor that evening.

Remus looked up from the turntable "No, I don't have _Beatles for sale_ or any of their singles."

"Do you think you'll survive?" Sirius snickered.

"Hey," Remus nudged Sirius with the foot "It's actually a fantastic album and Ringo and George sings."

"You are aware that I have no idea who 'Ringo' or 'George' are, right," Sirius said, supressing a grin and nudged Remus back.

Remus worried his lip "Do you want me to cut it short or…?"

"No need to cut it short," Sirius smiled, something he disturbingly enough didn't regret later.

Remus enthusiastically started talking about _The Quarry Men_ who later became _The Beatles_, the recruiting of first Paul McCartney, the constant changing of members, but finally mainly John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and George Harrison.

Remus was adorable when he was talking about things that really interested him. His eyes lit up and turned a nearly golden shade, his cheeks grew slightly red in a non-embarrassed manner and his hand-movements turned uncontrolled.

When Remus way over half an hour later started talking about the break-up and then moved on to conspiracy theories, Sirius had almost stopped listening and was mainly using it as an excuse for looking at Remus.

"Do you think they had a relationship?" Sirius suddenly interrupted.

"I… Who?" Remus confused asked.

"Lennon and McCartney of course."

Remus just stared at Sirius "When you say relationship…"

"Romantically," Sirius explained.

"They're both heterosexual," Remus claimed with a baffled expression.

"Not necessarily," Sirius shrugged "They could be bi."

"They're just friends, or they were," Remus stated.

"If you say so," Sirius unconvinced said _Just as straight as I am._

Remus rolled his eyes "You almost sound like Lucy."

"I like this 'Lucy'," _No, I absolutely do _not_. Who the fuck is she?_ Sirius casually added, "Who is she?"

"Lucy? She's a friend of mine," Remus smiled.

"Friend or 'friend'?" Sirius inquired.

"What is wrong with you? Don't you believe in platonic friendships?" Remus asked.

"I'm just asking," Sirius objected, relieved taking Remus' statement as a _friends_. Not that Sirius couldn't have done something about it if Lucy had been a _"friend"_ but somehow it wouldn't have felt right, not when it was Remus.

"I still haven't heard any of their songs, you know," Sirius reminded Remus.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

"You've been talking about The Beatles for something near an hour and you 'almost forgot'?" Sirius disbelievingly asked.

"Yes," Remus shuffled closer to Sirius and picked the album with _Please Please Me_ written on with red letters.

When the first song started playing Sirius almost groaned aloud_ You can't be serious._ but at the time they reached the B-side Sirius had to admit there were something about them. "All right, I can see that they have a certain something but enough for this obsession of yours?"

"I didn't fall completely in love with them after Please Please Me, it was a bit later," Remus sent him a look that clearly said _You'll understand what I mean when you hear it._

xXxXx

They had agreed on listening to an album every evening and by the time they reached _Rubber soul_ Sirius was getting impatient. Not because of the music, he had to admit he slowly was beginning to understand why Remus was so mad about the band. It was more the way Remus reacted on their music. He got that look of bliss and just pure happiness, making Sirius grow mindless with want.

For six days he'd slept with Remus in his arms, eaten with him, laughed with him, taught him and as the time passed Sirius fell harder and harder, if it hadn't been to terrifying to put into words he'd have called it falling in love which was ridiculous seeing that he'd only known Remus for less than a week.

That morning Sirius had decided that he'd make a move. Maybe he'd get rid of all those pointless feelings for Remus if he just did what he usually did.

The look on Remus' face and the smashed plate when Sirius had walked into the kitchen that morning dressed in tightfitting leather trousers had told Sirius that 1. Remus wasn't completely straight, something he'd been fairly certain of even before, and 2. Sirius' strategy was working.

They had just finished their dinner when Sirius asked "Sure about that not singing thing?"

Remus stopped licking his spoon "Yes, if you're so intend upon it, why don't _you_ sing?"

"Okay," Sirius shrugged "Five seconds," he quickly went to find the one single he'd brought with him. In his haste to leave home he hadn't cared to bring his turntable, but this one Doors LP he was rather fond of.

When he returned he looked to Remus for confirmation before touching Remus' beloved turntable. Sirius also spelled the LP to mute the vocals, a spell he'd been practising last year when James for some reason had demanded to hear Sirius sing and Sirius hadn't wanted to do it without music. Sirius knew he could sing, he'd actually taken singing-lessons when he was a kid, and piano lessons, but he'd never had the patience to learn that properly, besides, it had been entertaining to watch his mother's displeased look when his piano-teacher had refused to "spend more time on that arrogant…" that was when his mother had started shouting about not speaking ill of the noble Black family which apparently was far purer than the teacher's descends.

The characteristic intro started playing and Sirius rolled his hips in a way that almost made him forget singing when he saw that it had caused Remus' eyes to turn dark with... want?

_Come on, come on, come on, come on _

_Now touch me, baby _

_Can't you see that I am not afraid? _

_What was that promise that you made? _

_Why won't you tell me what she said? _

_What was that promise that you made?_

Perhaps he could have chosen a more subtle song than _Touch me_ but Sirius wasn't a very subtle person and apparently it was useful for the purpose. Sirius inwardly grinned as he waited for the short instrumental part to be over.

_Now, I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the heavens stop the rain _

_I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I_

Remus was staring at him with his mouth slightly open. Sirius made use of the longer instrumental part. He reached his hands towards Remus who slowly took them. Then he pulled Remus into a standing position with him and carefully started to move in a dance-ish way that Remus followed.

_Come on, come on, come on, come on _

_Now touch me, baby _

_Can't you see that I am not afraid? _

_What was that promise that you made? _

_Why won't you tell me what she said? _

_What was that promise that you made?_

When the slower part approached Sirius pulled Remus closer and wrapped his hands around the smaller boy's waist. He could hear Remus' breath hitch, but instead of pulling back Remus placed his hands on Sirius' shoulders.

_I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the heavens stop the rain _

_I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I _

_I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the heavens stop the rain _

_I'm gonna love you _

_'Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I_

They were still swaying when the outro started and Sirius suddenly started to regret his _do your thing and then you can forget him_. He realised that he didn't _want_ to forget Remus and what should've been terrifying actually wasn't. What if Remus didn't really want this? Sirius tried to diffuse the tension by talking about the first thing that fell to his mind "Jim Morrison was rather attractive, don't you think?"

"Very," Remus absently muttered and kept his amber gaze locked with Sirius' "You actually look a bit like him," Remus didn't seem to be completely aware of what he was saying but Sirius' brain was working furiously to digest that bit of information.

"You find me attractive?" Sirius breathed, his attempt on a smirk failing miserably.

Remus seemed to be pulled back to reality and tensed up "No!" He exclaimed "Or… yes… maybe?" he babbled with wide eyes and tried to pull away. Sirius tightened his grip on the boy and in one movement wrapped his left arm around Remus and moved his right hand to cup Remus' trembling cheek. Remus seemed unable of breaking their gaze and Sirius slowly moved his lips closer to Remus'. Just as he was bridging the gap between them he heard a voice.

"Sirius? Are you… Bloody hell! I've been worried about you, you twat, actually worried and then you're just with one of your boyfriends?!" _If that ass ever gets lucky with Evans I'm going tell her every non-flattering story there is about him._ Sirius inwardly swore as Remus abruptly stepped backwards.

"Nice to see you too, James," Sirius fumed.

"What is wrong with you? I even contacted that ghastly brother of yours, I expect you to make that up to me, by the way. When he started talking about you running away I thought something had happened and then you're just here? I'm your best friend, Sirius, shouldn't I be prioritized over sex?" James indignantly threw his arms out, "You don't usually show them the cottage, though."

"James, shut your mouth or I'm going to shut it for you," Sirius was threatening walking towards James who started backing out of the kitchen.

"Calm down, I was just concerned, that's all. You could at least have owled me," James' backing sped up until he hit the wall in the study.

Sirius grabbed his collar "Listen up, it's not like that with Remus,"

"Oh, Remus is it?" James interrupted, but shut up when Sirius violently shoved him against the wall.

"It. Is. Not. Like. That." Sirius growled, "Now get out." he let go of James' collar. Sirius had never in his life been this furious with his best mate.

"Point taken." James icily said and stepped back in the fire where he came from. If Sirius hadn't been so furious he'd have panicked at the tone: James was never cold but right now Sirius couldn't care less.

Sirius twirled around to look for Remus, but he wasn't there. _fuck, fuck, fuck!_

xXxXx

Remus had left at _You don't usually show them the cottage, though. _and was now haphazardly throwing things in his bag. A hand suddenly touched his shoulder and Remus spun around. "Don't touch me," he hissed.

"Remus, listen…" Sirius started.

"I don't want to listen!" Remus screamed "And get your hand off of me!" Sirius quickly withdrew his hand. "I don't want to listen, I don't want to be 'one of your boyfriends', I just want to get away from here," Remus snapped and continued throwing things into the bag.

"Please," Sirius begged, forcing Remus to face him again. Sirius was looking unearthly with his coal black hair against the white dress shirt and his leather trousers. Untouchable. Unattainable. and yet Remus couldn't find the will to say no, he could only fight back the tears and look into Sirius' silver eyes.

"What he said; it's not true, or, it was, but it's not anymore," Sirius was biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, "That's coming out wrong," he tugged at his dark hair "I have a past, just like you have a past. It once was like that but not with you. It's different with you." the look in his eyes had turned pleading.

Remus' heart was tearing up "And why should I believe you?" he managed to dryly ask.

"Because I really care for you," Sirius whispered, "And it's freaking me out, but I really, deeply care for you."

"If it's freaking you out you'll be happy to hear I'm leaving, right now." Remus abandoned the packing and just swung the bag over one shoulder.

"If I didn't care for you I would just have fucked you the first day!" Sirius yelled, "It's the first bloody time I haven't done that, and that's what's freaking me out, that I didn't want to do anything if there was a chance it'd make you bolt." he continued more softly.

Remus slowly put the bag down "How do you expect me to believe that?" but he did believe it. He wanted to believe it.

Sirius took a tiny step towards him, but then stopped and clenched his fists tightly together, "Let's make a deal. You'll stay, but I can't make any kind of move on you." Remus quirked his eyebrow, "No sex, no kissing, nothing like that," Sirius explained, "If the only thing I wanted to do was put my dick in you, do you really think I'd not just save myself from all that and find another guy?"

Remus rubbed a hand across his eyes and sighed. Why did he always end up like this? "Okay."

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks a lot to MissMagicalCat and TheNile for helping me out and being awesome ^^

Firstly: I'd have loved to make the longest Beatles intermezzo in history of non-Beatles fanfiction but I reckoned that wouldn't be popular... so I didn't... that much :3 If you're genuinely interested just PM me or you can read the book called "Revolution in the Head - The Beatles' Records and the Sixties" by Ian MacDonald (that wasn't meant as promotion... I just have that book and I'm very fond of it...)

Secondly: I'm not sure when I'll be able to upload again. I'm going to London next week so I won't be able to write. I hope I'll have a new chapter ready for you by the week after, though. Perhaps I can write a chapter before I go but I wouldn't count on it if I were you. Sorry o.o

As always I love reviews. Thank you to everyone who've reviewed so far ^^ you have my eternal love :3 (so have your others but you know - some infinities are bigger than others...)

'Till next time ^^


	6. Chapter 6

Sirius hated the look of cold, broken hurt in Remus' eyes. He hated James for putting it there. But most of all he hated himself for the past he couldn't do anything about, the past that no sixteen year old should have.

He used every ounce of self-control he had not reaching for Remus and pulling him into a hug. Remus needed time and if Sirius should even hope to ever regain the unearned trust he had to give him that time. That _Okay_ would have to be enough. For now.

"Okay, Goodnight," Sirius picked up a blanket and a pillow and reluctantly left the room. He had no illusions on that part, he would have to sleep another place.

He spelled one of the chairs in the kitchen into a sofa like the one in the Gryffindor common room where he'd sped so many evenings with James and Peter. Sirius sighed, he didn't want to think about James right now, he knew he ought to apologise but it was a little hard convincing himself of as he lay down on the Remus-less sofa.

Sirius didn't get much sleep that night. For about a year he hadn't slept well and it was only recently he'd started to, by recently, Sirius realised, he meant within the last six days. He groaned into the pillow, this was ridiculous.

Around 2 am he finally fell asleep but Sirius had a terrible habit of waking up every hour. Usually he didn't wake up for real, just opened his eyes for a couple of seconds and then drifted back to sleep. This time, however, his not completely awoken mind expected a warm body pressed against his own and when it wasn't there a wave of panic shot through him, making him wake up.

Sirius tried to calm his pounding heart down, _He's in another room, you didn't go to bed together._ but it didn't help. He had to soundlessly stand up and shuffle through the library until he stood in the door to the bedroom where Remus was sleeping.

Remus looked tiny and lonely. He had thrown off the covers and looked like he was in agony. His small body was writhing as if in terrible pain and he was mumbling something that sounded like _no, please don't._ Sirius heard the doorframe give a squeaking noise where he was gripping it tightly to hold himself back from darting into the room and wrap his arms around Remus while muttering soothing things.

Suddenly Remus sat upright with a scream. Sirius flung himself away from the door and out of Remus' sight. The extent of Remus' problems started earnestly to dawn to him. The kind, loveable boy was in deep shit, possibly deeper than Sirius. _Who would want to hurt Remus like that?_ Sirius couldn't imagine it but then a thought stroke him. He had. And that was why he couldn't help him, couldn't even get Remus to trust him with what had happened.

Sirius suddenly became aware of the bookcase, which was sharply cutting into his back and went back to his sofa in an attempt of getting some more sleep.

xXxXx

That night Remus' nightmares returned. He'd had those nightmares regularly ever since his first transformation, the only exception where the last six days with Sirius. They were usually about harming the ones he loved and by usually, Remus realised, he meant always.

_He was running through the forest, the full moon above him, wet grass beneath his feet. Suddenly he saw an ebony haired boy standing with his back turned. The boy slowly turned around, revealing his pale skin that was reflecting the moon. The boy smiled widely. That was when Remus became aware that he couldn't control his movements. He leaped at the boy, making him fall to the hard ground with a dump thud "Please, no, stop it, Remus!" but Remus wasn't able to oblige. His mind was screaming Sirius' words as his body tore into his friend's flesh._

Remus woke up with a scream. He looked around the room to make absolutely sure he wasn't in the forest the day after the full moon next to Sirius' broken body or, worse, next to a living Sirius with a bite, a bite that could only mean one thing. That someone else had to share Remus' faith. That could happen, Remus guiltily thought.

He lay back down, still heavily panting. Even after that, he couldn't convince himself that he should leave. His bad conscience was nagging him, it was constantly there but sometimes, like now, he wasn't able to ignore it. He should have used his row with Sirius as an excuse for getting out but when he'd stood there he hadn't been able to bring himself to it.

The day after was terrible.

Remus was as always the first one to wake up, this time without a sleeping Sirius beside him. Remus picked up the bag from the floor where he'd thrown it yesterday and rummaged for some clothes. He picked up the clothes and silently aimed for the bathroom.

As he passed the kitchen he carefully avoided looking at the sofa where Sirius was sleeping. Or rather: He tried to avoid it but ended up casting a single glance at Sirius' coaly hair fanned out at the pillow and had to tear his gaze away after several seconds.

The icy water helped clearing his head. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and then he did something he rarely did. He looked at his own image. The face that stared numbly back at him looked healthier that it'd done for a long time. Only the eyes which were slightly red from crying and a bad night's sleep ruined the picture, and the miserable expression. The miserable expression didn't help either.

He dragged on the clothes from his bag. A pair of dark blue jeans and a plain T-shirt. From day two he'd been wearing his own clothes, not that he missed wearing Sirius', that much.

He sleepily opened the bathroom door and suddenly stood face to face with Sirius.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were out here," Sirius apologised and started to back away.

"I'm done anyway," Remus managed to get out, "You can just…" he tried to squeeze past Sirius without touching too much skin. Why did the guy even have to be half-naked most of the time? Remus panicked and in his attempt on getting away he almost stumbled. Sirius reached out a hand to steady him, causing Remus to violently flinch. Sirius immediately removed his hand and mumbled "Sorry." but before he retreated into the bathroom Remus saw the look of hurt in his eyes.

xXxXx

Remus was a very quick learner. In less than a week he'd reached third year spells, making Sirius almost positive that he'd either had a teacher before, something that wasn't very likely since he'd been so surprised when Sirius had proposed teaching him or Remus had done something else to learn it.

"No, you have to pull the wand slightly back afterwards," Sirius patiently explained.

Remus made another attempt at making the tip of the wand glow enough to call it a light.

"No, let me…" Sirius had already started to move behind Remus when he remembered: Remus didn't like to be touched anymore. By him anyway. It hadn't even been 12 hours and the fact that Remus was pulling away from him was breaking Sirius' heart more than he wanted to admit. He quickly moved away from Remus again before Remus could flinch. "If you hand me the wand I'll show you."

The vaguest flimmer of something flickered through Remus' eyes before he forced a smile and handed the wand back to Sirius.

"Lumos Maxima," Sirius uttered and made the necessary hand-movement to make the tip of the wand glow brightly. Remus was intensely watching Sirius' every movement making a little sound almost like "Oh," at the end.

The "Oh" had apparently meant that Remus had understood what Sirius meant with the pulling back because soon after Remus was able to evoke a light. Nowhere as bright as Sirius' but a light nevertheless.

"It's a good thing you're such a fast learner," Sirius tried to start a conversation, something that had been very easy just the day before, "Else my very limited patience would really have been put to the test."

Remus gave a little, very forced, laughter. _I wish he'd stop doing that._ It was so very different from the beaming Remus he'd faced when he'd first started teaching him.

"It's a little unsettling actually," Sirius said, unwilling to give up, "I mean this took me about two years to learn."

Remus shrugged "I'm older than you were then and I read a lot. Thanks". He handed the wand back to Sirius and headed towards the library.

Sirius felt like crying. _Don't go._ Then he took a hold of himself, he'd just have to earn Remus' trust back. He could do that, he'd just have to be patient: One of his biggest weaknesses but Remus was worth it.

xXxXx

Through Sirius' still half-asleep state he heard the sound of bare feet trying to move soundlessly over a wooden floor and not succeeding because there's always going to be the sound of skin hitting wood and a couple a quirking floorboards. Then there was a door getting opened and closed followed by running water. For a couple of moments there was silent but then the sound of muffled sobbing broke through.

Sirius slowly got up and over to the bathroom door. For a second he hesitated with the hand in the air, then he quietly knocked and murmured "Remus?" The sobbing stopped but there was no other reply "Remus?" he repeated a little more urgently.

"What?" a trembling voice replied.

"Are you all right?" Sirius' hand was still resting on the door.

"Fine."

"No, you're not. I'm coming in there." Sirius concluded and opened the door, ignoring Remus' protests. Remus was sitting on the floor in a corner with his bare legs drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them. He looked at Sirius with wide reddened eyes and made the tiniest of movements as if trying to pull farther away.

Sirius crouched down in front of him, careful not to touch, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, go away." Remus dismissingly said.

Sirius sighed "I feel like we've had this conversation before. I'm not going away 'till you tell me, you know."

Remus worried his lip before meeting Sirius' gaze "It was just a nightmare," he shrugged.

"Can I touch you? Just your hands?" Sirius asked. Remus hesitantly nodded. Sirius immediately made use of his agreement and loosened his chilly arms' so he was no longer hugging himself tightly. Sirius took his hands and looked into Remus' eyes "If it was 'just a nightmare' you wouldn't be crying in the bathroom in the middle of the night. If you don't want to talk to me, fine, I can understand that. But don't you dare telling me that it's 'Nothing' when it's obviously bothering you." Remus only looked half as surprised as Sirius felt. What was it with Remus that brought this, until recently, unknown responsible and mature side of him into the light?

"Okay, it's not nothing, but I don't want to talk about it," Remus squeezed Sirius' hands "It has nothing to do with what happened the day before yesterday, I just don't want to talk about it."

Sirius tried to ignore just how much that bothered him. "All right. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want a cup of tea or anything?"

Remus gave a little laughter and pulled one hand from Sirius' to wipe his eyes "I'm fine, I really am. I'm going back to bed, sorry to have woken you up." Remus stood up, "You'll have to move." he drily commented as he was stuck in the corner.

"Right." Sirius moved a little away but didn't let go of Remus' now warm hand now that he'd finally gotten a permission to touch.

Remus briefly looked down at their hands and then headed for the door. As they reached the library Remus quirked an eyebrow at Sirius "Aren't you going to let go again?"

"No." this earned Sirius an overplayed reluctant eye-roll but Remus kept heading for the bedroom regardless.

Sirius stopped in the doorway "Well, I'll head for my sofa, then. As much as I'd love to watch you sleep I think it'd be a bit creepy." He tried to let go of Remus' hand but Remus kept holding on.

"Stay," Remus begged, nothing more than a breath, making Sirius doubt what he'd heard, "It's just, I've slept really badly for the last two nights. Please stay." Yup, he'd definitely heard it right.

"I'll stay, then." Sirius smiled at Remus who looked genuinely surprised.

xXxXx

When Remus awoke from a few hours of great sleep it was in Sirius' arms. He was just about to scoot away when he noticed that Sirius' breathing was different than usual, not as deep and even as when Sirius was asleep. _He's not sleeping. _Remus almost jumped. The last week Remus had been the first to wake up so it was very likely Sirius hadn't noticed their snuggling sleep. So, today of all days, after Remus had practically begged Sirius to sleep with him, his cheeks burned at the thought, Sirius would notice.

Remus slowly looked upwards at Sirius who was watching him. "Good morning." Sirius smiled still with his arms wrapped around Remus.

"Umm, Good morning," Remus stammered, noticing that Sirius wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Slept well?"

"Ehh, yeah, you?" Remus quaked.

"Calm down, Remus, I'm not even touching you."

"Yes, you are," Remus argued.

"So I am, aren't I?" Sirius grinned "Do you mind?" his expression turned worried.

"No," Remus hesitantly said, "I think your friend James would mind, though."

"James? Who cares about James?" Sirius said, "He's a bloody idiot."

"Didn't he call himself your best friend?" Remus inquired.

"Yes, he is. But that doesn't make him any less an idiot," Sirius snorted, "Quite on the contrary I should think. Seriously, though, he's been chasing after this girl, Lily Evans, for years," Sirius batted his eyes at the mention of the name, "And she can't stand him."

"Why can't she…" Remus started.

"Because he's an arse," Remus shot him an inquiring look, "And maybe a little because she's friends with the biggest twat that ever existed."

"What has that got to do with anything?" Remus asked.

"She doesn't think we're treating _Snivellus_ right but honestly, he deserves it," Sirius shrugged, "He's in love with dark magic and I don't think he ever washes his hair. Anyway, James thinks his chances will improve now because Evans and Snivellus aren't friends anymore."

"Why not?" Remus inquired.

"I think she's finally realised just how big an idiot he is. He's called her 'Mudblood' more than once for starters." Sirius frowned at the word.

"Oh," Remus couldn't help but feeling a bit sorry for the guy, "That's a shame."

"What is?" Sirius asked.

"That their friendship got ruined."

"Yes, because he's a sadistic idiot," Sirius frowned, "Don't tell me you're feeling sorry for the bastard."

"I don't even know him. But it's always sad when friendships get ruined." Remus mumbled and toyed with what would've been Sirius' shirt if he'd been wearing any but as he wasn't it ended up being more of a running-fingers-over-bare-chest thing.

"You might want to stop doing that." Sirius stated.

"Hm?" Remus suddenly realised what he meant and immediately withdrew his hand. "Sorry." he mumbled with a burning face.

Sirius burst our laughing "Your… face… You should see your face."

"Bugger off," Remus grumpily replied with heated cheeks, "It's not me who's getting turned on because someone's touching my freaking chest."

"Are you sure about that?" Sirius seducively growled then he started laughing again just as Remus was getting worried in earnest, "Your face, it's priceless. I'm sorry, sorry, I'll stop now. Your face. I'll stop bothering you now. I'll take a bath instead." Sirius got up, still laughing.

xXxXx

Sirius was currently dealing with two emotions. Firstly the bubbling happiness of having Remus back, a smiling Remus. Sirius was actually surprised that it hadn't taken any longer than it did for Remus to forgive him. Surprised but very, very happy. The other thought was a fair bit less decent. He was currently forcing an erection away by sheer willpower. Sirius had from day one decided that Remus wasn't someone you could masturbate thinking of, it simply felt wrong. He'd never been concerned about that before; whether it was decent but somehow Remus was too pure. _It sounds ridiculous put like that._ Sirius inwardly groaned but basically that was it: Remus was too pure, too innocent to be messed with.

That evening they started to listen to music again. Sirius was sitting on the sofa with Remus' head in his lap. A position that had been a result of Remus wanting to lie down and limited room on the sofa _"Remus, you have to sit up. There isn't room for me when you're lying down." "Don't want to." "Then this is your own fault."_

"I really like this album." Remus sleepily murmured.

"You like all their albums." Sirius drily commented, trying not to squeal of happiness that Remus apparently was comfortable around him again. Squealing wasn't very manly.

"Yes, but that's not the point." Remus smiled.

"Can I ask you about something?" Sirius suddenly said.

"Sure." Remus replied with a quizzical look that made Sirius want to lean down and touch their lips together.

"If you're not going to school then what are you doing?"

"Who said anything about not going to school?" Remus confused said, "I go to a muggle school."

"Oh," Sirius replied a little embarrassed "What are they teaching there?"

"You know, Math, English, Science: That kind of thing."

"Why are they teaching you English? You know English." Sirius pointed out and started lacing his fingers through Remus' hair making the amber-eyed boy turn scarlet.

"Analysing literature and such," Remus smiled.

"That sounds really stupid. Why would you need that in real life?"

Remus looked genuinely surprised "That there's more to the text than you can see on the surface. You can use that when you're reading the newspaper for instance. It's also about discovering the true meaning in the piece."

"But why would you want to do that? I mean if you're not learning anything from it."

"Not learning anything? By reading? Of course you're learning. You might even grow as a person." Remus got up, leaving Sirius to mourn over the loss of the soft hair, "I'll be right back."

Remus returned with a little leather-bound book bearing the inscription _The Road Not Taken and Other Poems_ before sitting back on the sofa Remus turned the turntable off. Remus curled up in the corner opposite from Sirius on the sofa.

Remus opened the book and turned a couple of pages. "No, you don't have a choice." He informed Sirius before starting to read aloud.

_Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_

_And sorry I could not travel both_

_And be one traveler, long I stood_

_And looked down one as far as I could_

_To where it bent in the undergrowth; _

_-x-_

_Then took the other, as just as fair,_

_And having perhaps the better claim_

_Because it was grassy and wanted wear;_

_Though as for that the passing there_

_Had worn them really about the same,_

_-x-_

_And both that morning equally lay_

_In leaves no step had trodden black._

_Oh, I kept the first for another day! _

_Yet knowing how way leads on to way_

_I doubted if I should ever come back._

_-x-_

_I shall be telling this with a sigh_

_Somewhere ages and ages hence:_

_Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -_

_I took the one less traveled by,_

_And that has made all the difference._

Remus gazed at Sirius over the book "Still think it's stupid?"

Sirius needed only shoot a single look at a happily flushed Remus with blazing eyes to decide that it was definitely not stupid. "I feel like it's compromising my masculinity, though." Sirius complained.

"Well, usually poets are adored by women," Remus shrugged.

"Remus, I have to tell you something," Sirius seriously said and patted Remus' knee "I'm gay."

Remus rolled his eyes "I just meant that the only ones thinking poetry isn't 'manly' is probably jealous husbands or something. Most others think it's obscenely attractive."

"I'll take note of that." Sirius grinned and winked at Remus who immediately turned pinker than he already was. Sirius hadn't forgotten about his promise about not making a move on Remus, but that didn't really count as a move, did it?

* * *

**A/N:** The poem is _The Road not Taken_ by Robert Frost

I actually finished this chapter before I'm leaving *proud face* I'll be in London for the next eight days, though, so the earliest chance I'll get to upload is in a little over a week. However, I do promise you one thing; stuff will happen in that chapter :3

Thank you for reading, I love all of you ^^ As always I adore reviews ^^


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I don't want to M-rate this because I fear that people will expect very... graphic... scenes but if you're not comfortable with sex etc. you might not want to continue reading... This chapter contains a lot innuendos and... yes...

The song is _Far, far away _by_ Slade_ (it's not necessary to read the lyrics - I just felt like putting them there ^^)

* * *

"But what about Stones, then? Usually people are either fan of Stones or Beatles. Do you like The Rolling Stones?" Remus asked. It had been a couple of days since they had made up and Remus was, again, lying with his head in Sirius' lap. Sirius had stuck to his promise about not kissing or anything the like. Remus was actually a bit disappointed about that, not that he wanted to admit it. What Sirius had done, however, was touch. He used every single chance he got to touch Remus; run his fingers through his hair, stroke his arm, hug him, making Remus completely loose his concentration no matter what he was doing.

Sirius tensed up and stopped stroking Remus' hair "I don't like them." he, almost defensively, said.

"Why not?" Remus inquired, feeling like he was invading Sirius' privacy, for some reason.

"I just…" Sirius began, "No." Then he stopped and Remus started to wonder if he would ever start again "I guess I'll have to tell you sometime, anyway." Sirius gave a humourless laugh.

Remus sat up and turned to look at Sirius "If you don't want to tell me you don't have to." He didn't have any idea what this was about but it was clearly making Sirius uncomfortable.

"No, I want to, just please, don't hate me." Sirius worried his lip before drawing in a deep breath "It's about what James said. About a year ago I'd been in a very… heated… argument with my mother. I went into town and met this guy, Michael. We met at a muggle bar and after a couple of drinks we went to his place. It became kind of a routine, every second evening I'd come to his flat and after we'd had sex I'd leave again."

"What has that to do with Stones?" Remus puzzled interrupted not at all comfortable with where this was headed.

"He liked listening to it during sex." Sirius shrugged "Anyway, we only ever really spoke that night we met and we were both perfectly fine with our arrangement. Or so I thought back then, looking back I realise I'd probably fallen for him. One night he asked me what I was doing after the holiday and I replied 'boarding school' suddenly he asked me how old I was and when I said '15' he turned completely white and started shouting of me something about me not being legal and I'd have to leave. I haven't seen him since then."

"How old was he?" Remus asked. He really wanted to stop Sirius from looking so sad but he had to ask.

"25." Sirius replied with a blank expression.

"Bloody hell, Sirius, that's borderline paedophilia." A miserable expression crossed Sirius' features. It suddenly dawned to Remus what Sirius' apparent huge amount of boyfriends afterwards probably was all about. "Sorry, it's just very… early? Are you… Are you over him?"

Sirius' eyes filled with sadness and love met Remus' "Completely." Remus slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sirius', placing a hand next to Sirius' thigh for leverage. Sirius stiffened in surprise and Remus had just started to panic when Sirius pressed back, nibbling at his lip and then slid his tongue over Remus' lower lip, asking for entrance, something Remus immediately gave him. Sirius' warm, wet tongue met Remus' and in one swift motion Sirius pushed Remus' arm so he'd lost his balance if Sirius hadn't wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and pulled him onto his lap.

Sirius' arms were wrapped around Remus' waist as if making sure he stayed there, while Remus had pushed his hands into Sirius' silky hair. The kiss was slowly turning more feverish and Remus could feel Sirius' growing erection from as he was straddling the taller boy's lap. Remus slowly pulled back, Sirius' head followed and Sirius bit lightly into Remus' lip before pulling back as well.

"Hey," Sirius grinned, his breath mingling with Remus', their foreheads touching.

"Hey," Remus smiled.

"So I guess that means you don't hate me, then." Sirius leaned in for another kiss, turning Remus' reply into an agreeing humming.

"You're probably not 'that kind of guy', shame," Sirius breathed in Remus' ear.

"Yeah, I'm not, sorry." Remus replied with a shudder.

"Don't be, I wouldn't want you any other way." Sirius nibbled at Remus' earlobe.

"Bugger off." Remus half-heartedly pushed Sirius away.

"I think I'll find that a little hard, you're the one at top." Sirius resumed his nibbling.

"Do you have some kind of ear-fetish or what?"

"Not that I know of," Sirius pulled slightly back to thoughtfully reply, "I have a wide assertion of fetishes but until now that hasn't been one of them. Maybe I just have a Remus fetish?"

Remus blushed "You are aware that's one of the most clichéd thing you could possibly say, right?"

"Try me." Sirius grinned, "Besides, there's a reason it's 'clichéd'."

"True." Remus had to admit and involuntarily shuddered as Sirius slid his hands up beneath Remus' shirt.

"Stop that, I'm not 'that kind of guy', didn't we have that conversation like two seconds ago?" Remus said, mimicking Sirius.

"I'm not going there." Sirius said and innocently battered his eyes while sliding his hands farther up Remus' back.

"Sirius!"

"Okay, okay." Sirius moved his hands from Remus' bare skin to his shirt after slowly sliding them back down Remus' back.

"Arse." Remus pulled at Sirius hair where his hands were still tangled into the black mass.

"That's why you like me."

"Perhaps." Remus nibbled at Sirius' ear.

"Not fair!"

"Life isn't fair." Remus pulled back.

"Bloody tease." Sirius groaned and tightened his grip on Remus then he suddenly let go "You have to move."

"Am I crushing you? Sorry." Remus quickly moved from Sirius' lap.

"Crushing me? You weight like two pounds. No, my self-discipline just isn't nearly good enough for you to do that."

Remus violently blushed "Oh…" There was a short silence that wasn't as awkward as it should have been "I think I'll go to bed." Remus finally said.

"I'll be right along." Sirius grinned, "Just need to take care of something." and with a suggestive wink he went to the bathroom. Remus turned redder than he already was but his embarrassment was quickly pushed aside by something else.

The ball of happiness in Remus' stomach folded completely out and exploded in a flock of butterflies. He couldn't wipe the ridiculous grin off his face even though it felt like his face was going to split in two. He'd just kissed Sirius. He'd kissed Sirius! He made a sound of a strangled squeal as he repeated it over and over to himself to let it sink in completely.

When Sirius some time later joined him he wrapped himself around Remus half-sleeping form. Remus made a little sound and melted into him, earning a nuzzle in the neck.

xXxXx

The place where Remus had been lying was still warm when Sirius awoke to an empty bed. He stretched until he reached the wall above his head and grinned widely before jumping out of bed with an energy that was unusual for him earlier than noon.

Remus was standing in the kitchen as he usually was when Sirius started showing any signs of life. Their usual routine was that Remus woke up hours earlier than Sirius and spent the time reading and through some kind of intuition he started making breakfast around the time Sirius woke up. Today it seemed that Remus had woken up later.

Sirius stepped up behind him as he'd wanted to the first day but suddenly he found himself unable to wrap his arms around Remus' smaller frame. It was in a way 'the day after' and usually that meant going separate ways.

"Good morning." Remus leaned back against Sirius, making a warm fuzzy feeling spread in his stomach, "Is there anything wrong?" Remus abandoned the bread he was cutting and tipped his head backwards to look at Sirius.

"No." Sirius finally wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him softly on the mouth, feeling Remus' smile against his lips. The fuzzy feeling spread and curled around his heart. "Nothing." Remus tilted his head forwards again and resumed cutting the bread. "Isn't that quite dry by now?" Sirius squinted the nose.

"Would you rather eat more canned food?" Sirius groaned and buried the face where Remus' neck met his shoulder and bit down. "Ow, Sirius!" Sirius apologetically licked the spot earning a delicious shudder. "I'm going to cut myself if you keep doing that." Remus warned.

Sirius whined against the place "Don't do that."

"Then get your mouth away from my neck."

"Meaning I can't do this?"

"Do whahahaa… Yes, that's exactly what it means."

"Shame."

"Mmmm."

"You could put that knife down."

"But I'm hungry."

"So am I." Sirius growled in Remus ear and spun him around. Remus surprised whelped as Sirius fiercely pressed their mouths together. Sirius used the moment of surprise to stick his tongue inside Remus' hot mouth. The knife clattered to the floor and Remus pushed his hands into Sirius' hair as he returned the kiss a bit hesitantly at first but then slowly growing bolder until he was the one in control of the kiss. Sirius' thoughts started to go clouded and the only thing in the world was Remus' soft body and Sirius self and that was the only thing he needed right now he realised as he slid a hand under Remus' shirt.

Remus pulled back and looked dazed at Sirius.

"'Morning." Sirius grinned and pressed a kiss to Remus' forehead before untangling Remus' hands from his hair, Remus made a small noise and curled his hands into the fabric of Sirius' shirt instead. The fuzzy feeling, which was curled around Sirius' heart started to squeeze and it felt like his heart was going to explode from the happiness.

"I should pick that knife up before anyone gets hurt." Remus commented but didn't show any signs of doing so as he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist.

"I'm good at putting people back together." Sirius tightened his grip on Remus, noticing that Remus' back was very cool "Are you cold?"

"Huh? Not really." Remus shrugged, trying to suppress a violent shiver.

"Yes you are. It's summer Remus, how can you be that chilled?" Sirius rubbed Remus' back in an attempt of creating friction.

"I don't know. I've always been very receptive to temperature change." Remus pressed closer to Sirius.

"Can't you take care of yourself? Go take a hot bath and get properly dressed or something." Sirius started to move them towards the bathroom.

"But I'm fine." Remus protested.

"You can do it yourself or I can do it for you, you decide." Sirius ushered Remus towards the door.

"You can't…" Remus began.

"Yes, I can." Sirius cut him off "And I'm going to if you don't get a move on. _I_ don't mind."

"Idiot."

"But I'm _your_ idiot." Sirius immediately regretted saying that when Remus stopped completely and just stared at him.

"Really?" Remus was still looking at Sirius with a dumbfound expression. Sirius was still panicking and as the silence started to get unpleasant Remus voiced the reason for Sirius' panic, "Sirius, I'm not him."

"No, you're not." Sirius replied a bit embarrassed that he'd compared Remus to Michael but avoided replying to Remus' other question. There was a short awkward silence where Sirius tried to stick his hands in the pockets of the jeans he wasn't wearing. Remus mumbled something about the bath and fled to the bathroom.

Sirius stood outside the door until he heard the water start running then he went to pick the knife up.

xXxXx

Remus frustrated ran a hand through his hair. _I'm not him._ The moment he'd said it he hadn't been sure, how could he be arrogant enough to think that he was different from the rest or at least that he was different from Michael. How could he be sure that this wasn't a week or month thing for Sirius? Remus gave a small hysterical laughter; it wasn't even relevant it'd be better if it were a week or month thing for Sirius so he wouldn't get stuck with Remus.

The taste of Sirius still lingered on Remus' lips and it didn't take many moments for the taste to make Remus forget all his concerns. He greedily licked at the dark chocolate-ish taste which shot directly to a point behind his solar plexus in a mix of happiness and ticklish pain that was actually quite unpleasant in a good way.

When he had finished his bath and felt warm Remus went out to Sirius again. Sirius was lying on the sofa with his eyes closed. Remus approached and by the time he was standing next to the sofa he was starting to wonder if Sirius had fallen asleep "Sirius?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" Sirius cracked a silvery eye open to look at Remus.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Maybe a little." Sirius wrapped the long slender fingers of his left hand around Remus' wrist and tugged.

Remus shot an arm out and held on to the back of the sofa for balance, "It's almost 11 am, Sirius."

"Your point being?" Sirius tugged again.

"It's almost noon!" Sirius tugged a little harder "Will you stop that?"

"Will you take the hint and join me?"

"There's not enough room for two people on there." Remus said, eyeing the sofa dubiously.

Sirius rolled on the side and Remus finally gave in. He laid down on the edge pretty sure he was going to end on the floor in a second. However, Sirius solved the problem by wrapping an arm around Remus' waist and pulling him firmly against him.

"Sirius, it's noon." Remus protested.

"You already said that." Sirius mumbled against Remus' neck.

"Yes, but it didn't really have the desired effect." Remus explained

"I think it had plenty of effect." Sirius' breath was hot against Remus' skin "You're warmer now, by the way."

"Yeah, taking a bath did help, thank you."

"You smell nice." Remus suddenly became aware that Sirius was inhaling his scent.

"Eh… Thank you, I guess. You smell good, too."

"I haven't had a bath yet." Sirius pointed out.

"It's good to hear you have a memory of what you've done this morning."

Remus could feel Sirius pull a face "You know what I meant, and I'm the sarcastic one, you smug little bastard."

"You smell like you, it's nice." Remus shrugged.

"Very informative, I can't smell myself, Remus, how does 'you' smell."

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Well," Remus sniffed, his face growing red "Like dark chocolate, grass, sleep and… something else, a bit like cinnamon, I think."

"Like cinnamon mixed with lemons?"

"Yes, a bit like that."

"That's you."

"What do you mean?"

"That's what you smell like, Remus."

"Oh." Remus couldn't really find anything else to say.

"Not right now, obviously. Right now you mainly smell of soap and cleanness." Sirius started rubbing against Remus.

"What are you doing? Sirius, will you stop that?"

"I'm smelling like you so it's only fair that you smell like me as well." Sirius stated and continued his rubbing, now additionally with a leg he'd wrapped around Remus'. Sirius started running a hand through Remus' still wet hair.

"Sirius, I'm going to fall off this sofa." Remus warned him.

"No, you're not, I'm holding you, don't you trust me?"

"No."

"Well, then." suddenly there was nothing but thin air under Remus and he hit the floor with a surprised yelp. A short second later Sirius landed on top of him, beating all the air from Remus' lungs.

When Remus had inhaled enough air to speak he made a choking sound "Do _you_ think that was a good idea?"

Sirius lifted himself slightly from Remus and tried to cover the fact that he was shaking with laughter with a thoughtful look, "I don't know."

"I'll tell you then: It wasn't. I'll have bruises all over tomorrow and you're crushing me." Remus grumpily said.

"We both know that tone is covering over the fact that you like being under me."

Remus' eyeroll was cut off by Sirius leaning down to lock their lips together. Sirius almost immediately pushed his tongue inside Remus' mouth and Remus eagerly responded to the appealing heat while arching against Sirius. Sirius pushed a hand under Remus, rubbing slow circles on Remus' arched back. Remus' arms were trapped between their bodies and the only thing he could do was curl his hands up around the fabric of Sirius' shirt.

Sirius tilted his head to the left to have better access to Remus' mouth and as Remus whimpered he became aware of what they were doing. Remus turned his head "Sirius, we can't just lie here all day."

Sirius who was pressing kisses to Remus' jaw-line briefly looked up "Do you have somewhere to be?" he asked before continuing his licking and biting down Remus' neck, making Remus involuntarily tip his head back to give Sirius better access. With an effort Remus pulled his arms from where they were trapped and buried his hands in Sirius' hair, not to pull him away but to make sure he kept doing whatever it was he was doing to Remus' neck.

Sirius slowly moved farther down and suddenly he stopped and pulled a bit back. "Don't stop." Remus frustrated hissed.

"You have a mark." Sirius stated.

"Where?" Remus tried to look but couldn't see anything.

"Here." Sirius licked the place where Remus' neck met his shoulder, where Sirius had bit down earlier. Remus looked again and saw a violent red mark.

"Christ! How hard did you bite?" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius tried to suppress a grin that was spreading over his face "Harder than intended," the grin disappeared "Does it hurt?"

"No, not really. Why are you smiling?"

"No reason." Sirius grinned against Remus' collarbone.

"Aha, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with having a lunatic lying on top of me."

"So you admit that you're comfortable with having _me_ lying on top of you?"

"Didn't I just say I wasn't comfortable with having a lunatic on top of me?"

"Not nice." Sirius protested and lifted himself a bit.

"No, it wasn't. Tell me what that grin was about." Remus urged, "Please?"

"No."

"Please?" Remus hesitantly licked a long stripe up Sirius' throat, when Sirius whimpered and his eyes got a slightly glazed look Remus grew a bit more confident and arched against Sirius to nibble at his jawline "Please?" Remus stopped and pulled a bit back.

Sirius frustrated groaned, "I have created a monster."

"That's your own fault." Remus pointed out "Please?"

"It's really not that interesting." Sirius dismissively said.

"Then why won't you just tell me?" Remus pleaded.

Sirius sighed and at a very fast pace he mumbled "It marks you as mine."

Remus' insides squirmed almost uncomfortably. Suddenly he became aware that Sirius was worrying his lip. Remus drew in a breath to pick up some courage because, honestly, this was too ridiculous, "I like being marked as yours." Remus whispered.

He heard Sirius draw in a sharp breath and before Remus knew what was happening he was pinned to the floor by his wrists and his mouth was covered by Sirius'. He briefly felt the tip of Sirius' tongue before the hot mouth disappeared. Before he could protest to the loss a pair of lips was pressed to his neck. This time Sirius wasn't kissing; he was biting and sucking.

"What are you…" Remus heavily breathed "What are you doing?"

"Marking you." Sirius replied without removing his mouth. Remus went completely silent as he felt a mix of pure, raw, happiness and scolding hot guilt. Sirius was tenderly rubbing small circles where he had held Remus' wrists hard enough to leave bruises and suddenly the guilt was completely washed away by an overwhelming fondness.

Remus involuntarily tipped his head and strained against Sirius' grip on his wrists. Sirius tightened his grip on Remus and kept his mouth fastened on Remus' neck. Suddenly the weight of Sirius disappeared, Remus opened his eyes and tipped his head back to look at Sirius who was straddling Remus' stomach with all his weight on the knees, making it almost impossible for Remus to feel that Sirius was there.

Sirius was thoughtfully looking at Remus' neck, inspecting his work, then he stood up and moved slightly from Remus as he offered Remus a hand "Breakfast." Sirius stated and looked expectantly at Remus.

Remus sighed "Right now?"

Sirius looked conflicted for a short second before his nonchalant appearance returned "Yes." Remus took the hand offered to him and allowed Sirius to pull him up.

x

They'd had almost two wonderful weeks together as a… couple? Remus wasn't completely sure what they were and he hadn't really asked because he was afraid they didn't completely agree and Remus didn't want to have that conversation just yet. They had continued as before with Sirius teaching Remus magic in the day and Remus teaching Sirius about Beatles, literature and muggle culture in general in the evening. The only real difference was that there was a lot more touching, groping and kissing than before. For the first time in years Remus was almost completely happy and it seemed Sirius was as well.

"Hmm… give me two seconds." Sirius said "The muggle bands I know: The Doors, Rolling Stones, The Beatles and The Who, I think."

"I don't like The Who." Remus admitted, scrunching his nose "I don't like their attitude."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked and looked up at Remus from his place in Remus' lap.

Remus put the LP he was holding down and started carting a hand through Sirius' hair. "It's just the whole destructive thing they're doing." Remus shrugged, "With destroying music-equipment and hotel-rooms, it's not very appealing."

"But they pay for it afterwards." Sirius argued.

"You can't behave like a baboon just because you have money. There're people who want to play guitar but can't afford one or what about the person who booked the hotel-room the week after them? It's just such a waste and it doesn't exactly scream 'I'm a nice person'."

"But what about their music?"

"It's all right I guess." Remus shrugged, "Not really my style I'll have to admit."

"I see, you're too posh for that."

"I'm not posh." Remus exclaimed before noticing the twinkle in Sirius' eye.

"You're a bit posh, you have to admit that."

"I'm not."

"So your way of pronouncing words and your tea-drinking isn't posh? You like poetry and Shakespeare for Merlin's sake."

"Shakespeare isn't posh." Remus broke in.

"If you say so." Sirius shrugged.

"He isn't!" Remus drew in a breath and was just about to start explaining exactly why Shakespeare wasn't posh when Sirius laughed and said: "Have mercy, Remus, I don't feel like getting lectured right now."

"Not even a little lecture?" Remus jokingly pleaded.

"If you sing I'll agree on a small lecture." Sirius bargained.

"Can't you just drop that subject?" Remus groaned.

"Please, Remus?" Sirius sat up and turned to face Remus "Please? Please? Please?" he whined, punctuating each 'please' with a small kiss. "For me?"

Remus sighed deeply "Okay."

"Really?" Sirius pulled a bit back, seeming earnestly surprised.

"Yes, you spoiled little brat." Remus smiled "But I really can't sing. Don't tell me you haven't been warned. What do you want me to sing?"

"I don't care, you decide. Something I don't know, perhaps?"

"Slade?" Remus offered, pretty sure it was too glam for Sirius to know.

"No idea what that is." Sirius looked expectantly at Remus.

Remus slowly got up "You're sure?"

"Yes!"

_I've seen the yellow lights go down the Mississippi_

_I've seen the bridges of the world and they're for real_

_I've had a red light off-the-wrist without me_

_Even getting kissed, it still seems so unreal_

Remus hesitantly started. He shot a quick look at Sirius who was beaming at him and suddenly Remus though _Why am I so nervous?_ He slowly grew more confident as he realised that he trusted Sirius enough to do this.

_I've seen the morning in the mountains of Alaska_

_I've seen the sunset in the East and in the West_

_I've sang the glory that was Rome _

_And passed the 'Hound Dog' singer's home_

_It still seems for the best_

_-x-_

_And I'm far, far away with my head up in the clouds_

_And I'm far, far away with my feet down in the crowds_

_Letting loose around the world but the call of home_

_Is loud still as loud_

_-x-_

_I've seen the Paris lights from high upon Montmartre_

_And felt the silence hanging low in no man's land_

_And all those Spanish nights were fine_

_It wasn't only from the wine, it still seems all in hand_

_-x-_

_And I'm far, far away with my head up in the clouds_

_And I'm far, far away with my feet down in the crowds_

_Letting loose around the world but the call of home_

_Is loud still as loud_

_-x-_

_I've seen the yellow lights go down the Mississippi_

_The grand Bahama island stories carry on_

_And all those arigato smiles stay in your memory_

_For a while, there still seems more to come_

_-x-_

_And I'm far, far away with my head up in the clouds_

_And I'm far, far away with my feet down in the crowds_

_And I'm far, far away but the sound of home_

_Is loud still as loud_

"Happy?" Remus said, intending it to be kind of grumpily and with an eye-roll but when it came out it was more like a hoarse whisper.

"Very." In a whoosh of black hair Sirius got up and roughly pushed their mouths together. Suddenly Remus had his back pressed against a wall, he wouldn't be able to tell which wall even if his life depended on it, all he knew was that in front of him was Sirius, in front of him and all over him, with his mouth and hands and body and that behind him was a cool wall which kept him from falling when his legs almost gave in under him from the sensation.

Sirius' hands were fumbling with the fly to Remus' jeans and Remus immediately tensed up. Sirius was one of the most innuenduos persons he'd ever met but Sirius had never gone down that path in earnest. Sirius pulled back at once, hands abandoning Remus' trousers and flying to his face "Is something wrong?" Sirius concerned asked.

"No." Remus replied, not wanting to destroy anything by saying no to Sirius. Remus tried his best to smile and pulled Sirius a little closer by the waist.

Sirius resisted Remus' attempt at pulling him closer "Remus, you're completely stiff, relax." Remus tried to relax, he honestly did but apparently it wasn't enough for Sirius "Don't you trust me?"

"I do." Remus reassured him but contrary to his words he didn't know. He wasn't sure if he trusted Sirius, of course he did, but not enough to trust Sirius wouldn't abandon him as soon as he found out Remus was a monster, that didn't really have anything to do with trust, though, it would be the natural and clever reaction for Sirius to immediately leave.

"No, you don't." the hurt was audible in Sirius' voice.

"Yes, I do, I trust you." Remus argued, "I just can't do this, Sirius, I'm sorry." Remus really was sorry but he'd already gone way too far and as the time for the full moon came nearer and nearer Remus realised he'd have to leave. He'd known it ever since he'd set eyes on Sirius for the first time but he'd tried his best to forget it. It hadn't been right to do this to Sirius, it was probably one of the most selfish things Remus had ever done but now he'd have to make it up by going away before he could hurt Sirius.

"Don't be sorry, you're always sorry, idiot." Sirius removed his hands from Remus' face to run a hand through his own ruffled hair "I'm willing to wait as long as you need, all right?" _No, nonono_, that wasn't all right at all, it tore and crushed and destroyed Remus' heart because it assumed there would be a future for them, together.

"All right."

A very vulnerable look crossed Sirius features "I love you." he slowly leaned in and pressed a kiss to Remus' lips before the raw, naked look of emotions disappeared and Sirius pulled completely away and turned around as if to leave.

"I love you, too." the words escaped Remus' lips before he had any idea what he was doing and the way Sirius' face lit up when he turned back around made Remus' heart ache as he thought about what he'd have to do but if he really loved Sirius as he'd just told him, Remus would have to do this.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry about the crazy delay but I came home from an amazing (but very, very hot) trip to London today so you should just be happy I wrote this while I was in London (when I wasn't at King's cross, Millenium Bridge, The Who Shop, Baker Street or anywhere else). The next chapter might not be up for another week because the London thing destroyed my writing rhythm... I tried to make a "the next chapter has to be written before I upload this one"-thing... Let's just say that the only thing I've written on the next chapter so far is: "Chapter 8"... Sorry about that.

I expect that there'll be around two more chapters and an epilogue ^^ (I've been dying to write something with an epilogue) after that I'll start writing one-shots (I have an ocean of ideas after my trip - you can follow me as an author if you're interested in them... Yes, they will be Wolfstar. No, they won't have any relation to this story)

Please tell me what you thought whether it's good or bad - I want to hear it - Pretty please with a cherry on top?


	8. Chapter 8

A loud bang sounded followed by a yelled: "Potter!"

James quickly grabbed for a towel before the door to the bathroom was torn open and a furious Sirius greeted him. James let out a surprised yelp and tried to cover himself with the towel.

"Bloody hell, Black, can't you knock?"

Sirius acted like James hadn't said anything at all "You were right, you were bloody right." he ranted and continued mumbling something inaudible as he paced the bathroom floor.

"Sirius? Sirius? Sirius!" Sirius looked at him as if he only just had realised James was there "What happened?" James puzzled asked but managed to track it down to Remus, "Why are you so furious if you got tired of him?"

Sirius' nostrils was close to flaring then his face slowly turned completely white and he slowly backed until his back was against the moist wall "He left me."

James nearly dropped the towel "What?"

"He left me." Sirius said again and slid down the wall until he was sitting on the wet floor, "He fucking left me."

James uncertainly ran a hand through his dripping hair not able to think of anything to say.

"He didn't even say anything." Sirius was staring blankly into the air, "He was just gone when I woke up. He left me this." Sirius held a balled-up piece of paper out to James. James slowly took it and unfolded it, trying his best to smooth the crumpled paper. It read: _It was a mistake. I'm sorry. _

"Just like that? You didn't, I don't know, scream of him to get out?" James asked.

"Listen, James, I'm sorry about that." Sirius ran an arm across his face.

"You're apologising." James dumbfounded stated, "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm fucking not all right. He left me. And no, I didn't scream of him. In fact I didn't do anything."

"Nothing?" James dubiously asked.

"Nothing. The only thing I did was telling him I'd wait for him as long as he needed." Sirius stated with a miserable expression then he suddenly got up, "He bloody said he loved me. He told me he loved me and then he got the fuck out."

"It seems your choices in boyfriends are as excellent as always." James drily stated, silently thinking that he was going to hunt this 'Remus' down.

Sirius glared at James "Says the guy who've spent the last, what is it, five? years chasing a girl who hates him."

"I'm trying to help you here." James outraged stated.

"I don't need help."

"All right, I give up. Let me get some clothes on, though I know you're dying to see me naked," James jokingly battered his eyes.

"Idiot." Sirius grumpily said.

James passed him and went to his room "I'm starving." James said as he dragged a pair of pants on, "Do you want something?"

"No."

"Not even some bread?" James pulled his jeans on, almost knocking the lamp on his bedside table over.

"I hate bread." Sirius fumed.

"All right." James cautiously said, feeling like Sirius would explode very soon, "I heard a bang before." James said as he pulled a shirt on, walking into the hallway where Sirius was standing with his arms crossed.

"Good for you." Sirius almost bitterly said.

"Did you knock something over?"

"Maybe some unnecessary trinket. Why do people even have trinkets? It's completely pointless, don't they have enough bloody things? Do they think it'll improve their miserable little empty lives?"

"Will you calm down?"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I'm perfectly calm." Sirius roared.

"If that's calm I don't want to see you upset."

"I. Am. Not. Upset." Sirius barked.

"Don't take it out on me! It's not my fault. Can't you just find him and demand an explanation instead of this?" James asked, indicating Sirius' entire, furious, form.

"He wrote it was a mistake, James! A mistake!" Sirius yelled.

"Well, I don't know why he'd do that!" James yelled back, "He didn't seem like such a douchebag but that's that. Can't you just let it go and stop whining if you're not going to do anything about it anyway?"

"I'm not whining."

"You could've fooled me."

"What _can_ I do?"

James opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, "_I_ don't know. Find him and talk to him or something?"

"He obviously doesn't want to talk to me."

"Sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

James held the paper he was still holding out to Sirius, deciding that he had to fix this if he didn't want to have a grumpy Sirius on his back for at least a couple of months, "Do _you_ think this sound final?"

Sirius started laughing, "James, you're honestly the most optimistic person I've ever met."

"But I'm right, am I not?"

"You're the guy who thought that a slap was just a sign that she wanted more physical contact."

"It was!" James exclaimed, "But honestly, you have to agree with me on this. This isn't very final."

"He didn't even have the guts to talk to me."

"Exactly! Because he thought it'd make him change his mind."

Sirius opened his mouth as if to argue but then he slowly closed it again and his face lit up "You're right. For once you're right. Thanks mate." Sirius grabbed the paper and ran for the fireplace.

James followed him "What do you mean 'for once'?" he shouted but Sirius had already shouted "Threepenny cottage."

James shook his head _Idiot_.

"James! What is going on?"

"Nothing, you weren't awfully fond of that glass-thing that sat on the mantel, were you, mum?"

"Do you mean my grandmother's favourite vase? James, why are you speaking in past tense?"

"Shit."

xXxXx

Sirius stumbled out of the fireplace. Remus couldn't be far away or at least Sirius hoped he wasn't. The note had clearly been written in the dark but if the wards were worth anything, Remus shouldn't be able to pass though them. On the other hand he'd gotten past them before.

A broom. Sirius needed a broom. He quickly scanned the study pretty sure that there was one somewhere. He noticed the distinctive brown colour underneath the writing desk and crouched down under the table to retrieve it. Sirius wrapped his fingers around the broom and moved backwards before rising. He had, however, not backed enough and ended up smashing his head against the table and thereby sending the papers on the over packed table flying around him.

_Shit._ Sirius groaned and feverishly started to collect his uncle's notes when one line of text drew his attention. _Wards _~ Sirius immediately stopped reading. He didn't have time for reading, Remus already had a huge head start and Sirius had no idea where he was. He could've gone any way. Sirius skimmed through the paper he was holding realising that perhaps there was something useful in there. Unlike normal people Sirius' uncle had made his wards work both ways. Sirius found what he was looking for _Modified Confundus charm ~ leads intruders towards the lake._ Underneath it there were lines with charms that had been crossed out until there only was one left.

Sirius tossed the paper away, he'd never before looked at his uncle's notes, it still hurt too much but he'd found the information he'd been looking for. He had more than once thought about modifying the wards to include Remus as part of the household but each time he'd stopped, thinking it'd be to assume Remus would stay, far too possessive. Sirius felt the hot anger and want boil inside him once again but pushed it aside when he felt that the want to hold Remus was far stronger than the anger.

Sirius gripped the broom tightly and mounted it as soon as he was outside. He was almost lying on the broom to maximise the speed. For once Sirius was too preoccupied to get off on the harsh wind, the air all around him and the ground rushing past underneath him. The only thing that mattered was finding Remus. Sirius shot a quick look at the sky only to see that it was already late in the afternoon and Sirius wasn't completely convinced that all the wards were still working after his uncle's death even though his uncle hadn't cast ordinary spells. Sirius didn't feel like flying around in a dark forest, not only would it be more impossible to find Remus than it already was, it would also be incredibly dangerous.

At last the lake came into view. It was a clear blue colour, which seemed like it was sparkling in the sunlight but Sirius didn't notice that. The only thing he noticed was that Remus wasn't there.

Sirius slowly circled the lake while getting gradually more worried, what if Remus wasn't here at all? Suddenly he heard a loud voice cursing 'This damn lake!'

A glimpse of something brown and a bit of black was all it took for Sirius to dismount his broom a few feet above the ground and in a jump/ tumbling running he stood only feet behind Remus. "Remus!" he called, still with the broom in his hand.

Remus jerked and spun around with a look of pure horror on his face. There were so many things Sirius wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask but when he finally regained the power of speaking all he got out was: "What the fuck is this?!" Sirius held up the note.

The look of horror had disappeared from Remus' face and had been replaced with indifference "Isn't it pretty clear what that is?"

Sirius shocked stared at Remus "A mistake? You honestly think it was a mistake?"

"Yes." Remus replied with a stony expression, "It was an experiment."

"What are you saying?" Sirius slowly lowered the note. It couldn't be, he refused to believe it.

"I'm not actually gay." Remus slowly said as if talking to a child.

"You told me you loved me." Sirius whispered, refusing to cry. Remus shrugged and suddenly Sirius was inches from the smaller boy, "A note. You left a note." Sirius spat. For a short second the façade was crazing and Remus' eyes turned wet, then the coldness was back "So what?"

"You didn't even have the guts to face me." Sirius fumed. Remus was backing away but Sirius followed until Remus' back was pressed against a tree. "I don't think you mean it." Sirius said.

Remus looked at him wide-eyed, "Y-yes." Remus stammered, then he seemed to collect himself "I do. I never actually liked you, you're just too full of yourself to realise that."

Sirius noticed a love-bite just below Remus' ear "Full of myself, is that the best you can come up with? I don't think you're even trying. I might be full of myself but at least I'm not a liar."

"I'm not lying." Remus spluttered.

"I like being marked as yours." Sirius huskily whispered in Remus' ear and watched as Remus tried to suppress a shudder. Sirius pulled back, "That seems incredibly straight to me. Besides, a note? Remus, it's not your style."

"You don't know what my style is. You don't know anything about me." Remus stated almost in panic.

"We both know that's not true." Sirius drily stated, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. "Look at me. Look at me and say that it didn't mean anything." Remus looked everywhere but at him but kept the cool appearance up. Sirius could feel himself falling apart and didn't bother to stop it, "Remus, just tell me what's wrong, please."

Remus' eyes turned wet again and the indifferent appearance fell, "I can't, Sirius. Just, leave me alone, please."

"I won't."

"Please, I'm begging you Sirius. I'm not good for you." Remus finally met his gaze.

"I think I prefer to be the judge of that."

"But you can't. You don't know enough to make that decision." Remus shot a quick glance at a point above Sirius' head.

"Then tell me." Sirius urged.

"I can't." Remus met his eyes again, the wetness and the sunset making Remus' eyes look like liquid gold. "I'm sorry. I just can't drag you into this." Sirius opened the mouth to argue but Remus interrupted after shooting another glance at what had to be the sky, "Leave, Sirius. If you care for me then please, just leave."

"I can't, Remus. Don't you know that?"

Remus opened and closed his mouth while shooting glances at the sky "I don't want you to hate me." a single tear was rolling down Remus' cheek.

Sirius reached out a hand to wipe the teardrop away but Remus moved his head away. "Remus, the only was you could possibly make me hate you is by leaving without any reason. Or by keep saying that McCartney and Lennon wasn't in love because, let's face it, they were."

"It's not funny." Remus said but allowed Sirius to touch his face, "You would hate me if you knew the truth."

"We're not getting anywhere, Remus." Sirius frustrated groaned, "Please just tell me. Please."

Remus mumbled something inaudible.

"Sorry?"

Remus took a deep breath and stared down at the ground "I'm a werewolf." He slowly lifted his gaze and met Sirius' again.

"And?" That would explain the matter of the wards, from the outside they only applied to humans.

"And?" Remus exclaimed, "And? I'm dangerous, Sirius."

"Don't flatter yourself. You like poetry, Remus, honestly. You're not incredibly intimidating."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Remus panicky laughed, "You haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. When I get transformed I don't have _any_ control I wouldn't even be able to recognise _you_."

"My uncle was _killed_ by a werewolf." Sirius stonily said, "I know exactly what you're talking about."

A faint "Oh." escaped Remus' lips, "How can you just stand there when you know what I'm capable of?" Remus quivered, "How can you _touch_ me?" Remus shook of Sirius' hand.

"Because that's not you. You'd never purposely expose anyone to danger. You're the guy who runs away from home to ensure that you're not a burden and that you don't hurt anyone, to the woods to be, what? completely alone but I tell you what; mission failed because I'm here and I'm not going to go away just because you once a month grow some fur."

Remus looked like he was about to cry in earnest "Really?" he whispered.

"Really." Sirius carefully leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus'.

"You have to leave now." Remus said after Sirius had pulled back.

"What?"

"Don't you know what day it is?"

"Ehhh, Friday?"

"Sirius, it's not funny. It's full moon." Remus exclaimed and shot another look at the sky.

"Ah."

"The sun is setting."

"Ah."

"Sirius!"

"Yes?"

"You have to leave. Like now."

"Will you be all right on your own?"

"It's not like I have a choice."

"You're clinging on to my shirt." Sirius commented. Remus immediately removed his hands but Sirius grabbed them and pressed a single kiss to his left knuckle. "Be safe." Sirius reluctantly let go of Remus' hands and grabbed his broom. He smiled at Remus before he mounted the broom and shot up in the air.

As soon as he was out of Remus' sight he stopped the broom and hovered in the air, not intending to move any further away that night.

xXxXx

_Soft._

_Grass._

_Light._

Remus slowly opened his eyes and stared into a clear blue sky behind the treetops. He blinked a couple of times before turning his head away from the sharp sunlight. What greeted him was Sirius' face.

Remus nearly let out a scream and immediately got up. Sirius was lying completely still with his eyes closed. _What happened?_ Remus panicked, he'd expected Sirius to be far away by now, and safe. Had he killed him? Had he wounded him? When Remus finally tore his eyes from Sirius' face he quickly scanned the brunet's body for blood. Nothing.

Remus carefully reached out and placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Warm. He gently shook it "Sirius?" It was nothing more than a whisper and when it didn't have any effect Remus raised his voice "Sirius!"

Sirius started to stir "What?" he sleepily muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Remus quaked.

Sirius opened his eyes to look at Remus. "I wanted to look after you."

Something inside Remus snapped "Are you out of your mind?" he wasn't aware that he'd moved until he realised he was straddling Sirius' chest. Sirius calmly looked at him and Remus suddenly had no idea what he'd intended to do as their eyes met and he realised that Sirius knew his secret and somehow still was there.

Remus leaned down and pressed his lips to Sirius' and when Sirius after some time hesitantly reached for the fly to Remus' trousers he found himself helping Sirius getting them off.

xXxXx

"You have to get home, you know." Sirius murmured into Remus' hair.

"Wait, what?" Remus asked, puzzled lifting his head from Sirius' naked chest where it'd been resting.

"This isn't you, Remus. You're not the running away type. Maybe you won't be bothered by it today or tomorrow but someday you'll want to get back to your parents and your friends."

"I don't really have friends, not anyone that close, anyway. And what about you? You'll never want to get back to your parents?" Remus argued.

"It's not the same situation. You think you're a burden to everyone and that they'll be better off without you but that's not true. It's not true for me and the way you talk about them I don't think it's true for your parents either."

"And what about _your_ parents?"

"My parents are dickheads." Sirius firmly said, "They thought it was my Uncle Alphard's fault that I was sorted into Gryffindor and thereby became 'a disgrace to the family' so to punish him, and to warn any other wizard who had any impact on pureblood children they set Fenrir Greyback on him. But something went wrong, I think my uncle had altered the wards so Greyback couldn't get out again and in frustration Greyback killed him."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know but I guess he wanted to stop Greyback from transforming more innocent victims, I think he actually planned to commit suicide and take Greyback with him, anyway, they were both hit by some sort of spell from the wards. Killed my uncle, although that could have been Greyback, but unfortunately Greyback got out alive. I thought it was just a spell that'd gone wrong until my mother found great pleasure in telling me otherwise."

"That's horrible." Remus said. Sirius just shrugged, "But, ehh… Who is Fenrir Greyback?"

"You don't know him?" Sirius surprised asked, "He kills for fun and especially enjoy transforming children. My uncle was only a special service for my parents, my mother can be… let's say convincing."

"Enjoy transforming children?"

"Yes, he places himself close to his victims at the full moon and ideally he wants to bring the children up far from their parents to make them hate wizards, something like that. He's mental."

Remus felt the palms of his hands getting clammy but stored that bit of information away for the time being, he had more present concerns. "But where'll you go, then?"

"James' I think. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Sirius smiled down at him.

"What about us?" Remus finally asked.

A crease appeared between Sirius' eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"You'll go back to Hogwarts and I'll be home. Not exactly the best ground for a relationship to build on."

"It'll work." Sirius stated, "It'll have to. We can write to each other and we'll have the holidays."

"No, it won't." Remus bit his lip, "Maybe in the beginning but then exams will come up and we won't write for a time and from then it'll just slowly go downhill until one of us find someone else."

"What do you propose, then?" Sirius inquired while tightening the arm he had wrapped around Remus' shoulders.

"That we just stop. Go our separate ways." Remus hated to say it but he didn't want this to just run out and become nothing, "And then maybe, maybe, when you're done with Hogwarts we can figure something out."

"But…" Sirius started.

"I don't like it either but I'd rather remember what we have as this."

Sirius was visibly thinking, "You're right, it won't work out." Remus was both relieved and sad but he swiftly pushed the sadness aside, it was for the best. "Are you going home today?"

"I don't know, you're right, I should, but maybe I could stretch it 'till tomorrow." Remus replied, silently slapping himself for exposing himself to this torture of being with Sirius another day when he knew he had to leave. Sirius' eyes lit up and when the sunshine made his eyes looked like molten silver and Sirius leaned down to kiss him, Remus couldn't really bring himself to be mad about the decision.

xXxXx

"What did you mean when you said you don't really have friends?" Sirius asked into Remus' hair. It was early in the morning, perhaps around 4 or 5, and they'd decided they didn't want to waste the time on sleep so instead they were huddled up in the sofa.

"That I don't. I'm too odd, you know with my reading and so on and then there're the monthly disappearances. The closest I have to a friend is Lucy but I can't really invite her over because of my dad, it wouldn't be advisable to have muggle kids in the house, and besides, she's really pissed that I won't tell her where I go every month. But in class we're pretty close and there're also Mary and Henrietta so that's all right." Remus replied.

"No male friends?"

"Nah, they think I'm gay – and apparently that's contagious or something."

"Oh, they _think_ you're gay? Which you're not." Sirius teased.

"Strictly speaking I think I might be bi." Remus said as-a-matter-of-factly earning a teasing bite in the earlobe.

"But don't you ever miss having friends?"

"Sometimes, I guess that's why I'm religious, I kind of like the whole unconditional love thing. Even if they liked me I can't drag them into all that when they have no idea what they're going into. You're the first one."

"First what?" Sirius inquired and held Remus a bit tighter.

"First everything, to be honest." Remus humourlessly laughed, "My first real friend, the first one to really know about me, my first kiss…" Remus stopped and turned beet red.

"You're joking." Sirius surprised exclaimed.

"No, I'm not, I'm serious."

"Actually I think you'll find that_ I_ am Sirius."

"You didn't…"

"Yes, I did." Sirius grinned as Remus dramatically rolled his eyes. Sirius gently leaned down and caught his lips, "Really, though?" he muttered.

"Yeah." Remus said against Sirius' lips and somehow Sirius succeeded in getting even happier than he already was and the possessive monster in the pit of his stomach purred. _How is it even possible that I'm the first?_ Sirius though but decided to refrain from voicing it.

"I should go." Remus groaned.

"Right now?" Sirius asked, trying to ignore how much it sounded like he was pleading.

"Soon." Remus replied and leaned closer in towards Sirius.

xXxXx

"Wait!" Sirius exclaimed, making Remus, his Remus, turn around with a quizzical look on the face, "What's your name?" Remus gave him a deadpanned look, "Your full name, I mean."

"Lupin, Remus John Lupin." Remus shook his head at Sirius.

"Black, Sirius Black." Sirius beamed and shook the hand Remus didn't hold floo-powder in.

"Goodbye, Sirius Black." Remus said with a little smile.

"See you around, Remus Lupin." Sirius replied and then Remus was gone but Sirius had a plan. A plan that involved waking James before Merlin got his shoes on.

xXxXx

Remus opened the book, he was currently reading, on chapter seven "Yes, Charlie, that's very upsetting." he grumpily said as he only vaguely interested read _Charlie and the Chocolate factory,_ the fifth book he'd opened within less than an hour.

Remus morosely took another bite of the dark chocolate he was eating and cursed himself for suggesting Sirius that they waited until he'd graduated from Hogwarts in two years. Two years! Remus absentmindedly licked at the chocolate after carefully avoiding the matter of why he suddenly liked dark chocolate.

It had been a week since he'd left the cottage and Remus wasn't coping. He didn't know what he'd expected. Maybe that Sirius would contact him? Suddenly appear on the doorstep and tell him he couldn't go two years without him? This was his own idea and it was very unlikely that Sirius would do anything to contact him in near future. _Why the heck did he ask about my full name then?_ The question popped up at least once every hour and Remus still hadn't been able to find a satisfying answer but he replied himself as he'd done until now _Because he wants to be able to find me in two years. Two full years? Yes, this was your own idea. Great, I'm talking to myself._

He let out a frustrated groan and rolled over on the back. _I really should get the ceiling painted._ Remus absently thought as he looked at a huge crack in the tapestry. _Who even put tapestry on the ceiling?_ Before he could come to a conclusion of this fascinating question his window made a sound.

Remus slowly got up and saw a big grey owl looking almost bored at him. He effectively killed the spark of hope in his stomach. It couldn't be from Sirius. And right he was, it wasn't from Sirius. If someone had, just weeks earlier, told him he'd ever become severely disappointed upon seeing the Hogwarts Crest he'd looked at them as if they were mad but that was the case nevertheless.

Remus slowly broke the seal and extracted a letter.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL _

_of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

Remus scanned through the headmaster's titles until he came to the letter itself.

_Dear Mr. Lupin_

_ We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

Remus nearly dropped the letter_ What?_ He re-red the line several times and checked that the name really was his. His Hogwarts Letter, he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. It had to be some sort of prank.

"Remus?" his mum gently knocked on the door, "There's a man here to see you."

Remus quickly hid the letter behind the letter behind his back, unaware completely why. Maybe because he didn't want to get his mum's expectations up before he was one hundred percent sure that it really was true. He knew his mum wouldn't exactly approve if it was but he also knew that she'd become happy for him.

"Who?" Remus puzzled asked.

"Professor Dumbledore, he says he wants to talk with you, about Hogwarts." His mother replied, looking almost more puzzled than him.

"I'll be down in one second." Remus promised and tried hard to suppress a grin.

"He said they've looked at the case again and found that you can go to the school, if you want to."

Remus' grin spread "I want to." He immediately said.

"Hun, do you think that's clever? with your… your problem." his mum gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Dumbledore must know what he's doing, mustn't he. If he deems it safe." Remus beamed, "And if it's all right with you and dad." he quickly added.

"I can't say I'm thrilled but if that's what you want we'll talk about it." His mum said and rose from the bed. "One second." she exhorted.

"Yes." As soon as the door closed behind his mum Remus let out a whoop. Then he noticed that the owl was carrying something else: a brown package. Remus loosened the package from the grumpy owl's leg and slowly unwrapped it.

The black and white cover of _With the Beatles_ greeted him and Remus clasped a hand over his mouth. He turned the LP to see if there was any kind of note, there wasn't. He picked the brown paper up and seven words written in a scratchy handwriting greeted him.

_Got to get you into my life._

* * *

**A/N:** "Got to get you into my life" is a Beatles song ^^

This was actually the last chapter o.o (I actually planned to make the Remus-thing in the end an entire chapter but then I remembered that I actually hate long separation scenes and decided to shorten it down ^^) *shocked look* There's still the Epilogue but else o.o I reckon that's a good thing, actually because next week I'm off to a writer's course :3 and then *sad piano music starts playing* *whispers* I'm going back to school.

I hope you enjoyed my little fic ^^ as always I adore reviews :3 (even if you're reading this half a year after I uploaded o.o) I enjoyed writing it even though it's not great literature and it's probably filled with mistakes as english isn't my native language.

If you've read as long as until here: I love you :3


	9. Epilogue

Sirius should be here. So why was Remus standing alone in the middle of The Hogwarts Express? Was Sirius having second thoughts? Remus was starting to panic when a girl's voice sounded.

"You must be Lupin." Remus turned to face the redhead who held her hand out towards him, "I'm Lily Evans."

Remus took her hand, "Remus Lupin, Nice to meet you, Evans." he smiled.

"Lily, please. They asked me to help you with potions." she confided after he'd met her friends Mary and Alice.

"And what did you reply?"

"Yes, of course." she beamed at him, "It's not every day we get a new pupil, in fact, I can't remember it ever happening. Did you transfer from Beauxbatons?"

"No, not really." Remus had to admit, he didn't even speak French, "I was ill a lot when I was younger," he smoothly lied, "so my parents weren't comfortable with me being so far away for such a long period of time."

"Oh, I'm sorry, haven't you gone to school at all, then?" Lily asked.

"I went to a Muggle school." Remus had to admit.

"Really?" Lily almost sounded excited, "So did I, well, before I got my letter. Which one?"

Before Remus could reply, a hand was placed on his shoulder, "I would say I'm sorry to steal him away but I'm actually not." Remus turned his head a bit to see Sirius beam down at him. Sirius gently stirred him away from Lily and her friends.

"Black! You can't just pounce upon the new pupil like that!" she shouted after them.

"It's all right, I know him." Remus said as he heard Lily curse 'Sodding, self-absorbed Black' behind them.

"Oh, you _know_ me?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.

"Ehh…" was all Remus got out before Sirius was kissing him hard. His familiar tongue slipped between Remus' lips and Remus found himself clinging to Sirius as if his life depended upon it.

"Those have been the worst four weeks of my life." Sirius panted, "I'm not letting go of you ever again."

"Really?" Remus whimpered.

"That's very touching." a boy drawled. Remus couldn't see his face but Sirius pulled a bit back and glared at a point behind Remus.

"Do you mind, Snivellus? I'm kind of in the middle of something." Sirius slowly leaned down and demonstratively kissed Remus.

"Come on, Snape, he's not worth it, bloody ponce." another boy snickered. In a blink of an eye Sirius was forcing the boy against a wall by the collar.

"You were saying, Rosier?"

"Let go of me." Rosier spat.

"Not until you apologise." Sirius sneered.

"Sirius, please." Remus whispered. Sirius turned towards him and for a moment he looked conflicted before letting go of the boy and wrapping an arm around Remus' shoulders.

"What…" Remus started.

"Slytherins." Sirius sighed as if it explained everything, "I was almost starting to wonder if you'd turn up at all."

"Are you kidding?" Remus looked dumbfound at him, "Hogwarts has been my dream since… always and with you here..."

"Aw, you better watch out or they're going to place you in Hufflepuff."

"And that would be the end of the world?"

"Yes!" Sirius dramatically exclaimed, "Then we wouldn't share dormitory." Sirius winked at him, "How'd it go, anyway?" Sirius asked as they entered a compartment.

"The test?" Remus asked, Sirius nodded but was cut off by one of the boys in the compartment. James slowly got up and shot Remus a smile. The fourth hand that day was held out against him.

"Yeah, we have met, but… James Potter, anyway."

"Remus Lupin, anyway." Remus cautiously smiled back as he took the hand.

"That's Peter Pettigrew." James nodded his head at a mousy haired boy who waved at Remus.

"Whom you'll be sitting next to for the remainder of this journey, James." Sirius said.

"You can't just take my seat." James outraged said but sat down next to Pettigrew nevertheless while cursing his best mate.

When Sirius had sat down on James' old seat and slung an arm around Remus' shoulders ("Really, Black?" "Shut it, Potter.") Sirius reminded Remus of his earlier question.

"Oh, the test? They said I can start with the 6th years but I have to take extra courses and in the end of 6th year I'll have to take my OWLs. The girl I was talking to, Lily, has actually agreed to help me with potions."

"That is so not fair." James exclaimed, "You're on first name already? _I_ have known her for five years but no." then he suddenly lit up, "You can help me. She likes you, if you casually mention me a couple of times." James excitedly began.

"Yes, yes, then she'll suddenly realise she's madly in love with you and you'll fly away on a pink unicorn and live happily ever after, we know." Sirius drawled, earning a snicker from Pettigrew.

"Actually I think the unicorn part is your dream, Black." James shot back.

"No, no, in Sirius' dream he'd ride away on a huge black wolf or a dragon or something because he thinks he's so cool." Remus offered.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on _my_ side." Sirius pouted as James and Pettigrew started giggling loudly.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, that's quite short... and shit... it's just a little mood-thing/ future-thing-stuff

That was it. I'm still writing Wolfstar stuff so if you're interested you can check out my other stories, or something. I'd love it if you would take two seconds of your time to write a review *puppy eyes*

See you.


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